Posted by: mum | 2010-09-02


My husband and I recently divorced after 201 years of marriage.
He was very abusive towards me and the kids.
I moved out prior to the divorce 8 months ago.
My son who is 15 has been smoking... this seems to have started over the last 6 months...
He is also repeating grade 8 and not doing too well in school.
How do i deal with this as I dont want to get the ex involved.
Thank You

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi there,

it is fairly typical for teens of your son's age to experiment with smoking, but the health risks are known to us all. Preaching health usually doesnt work, but you can encourage him to at least think about them.

However, given what you describe the smoking may be part of a sign of your son struggling emotionally. He may well be feeling quite traumatised by what he witnessed between you and his father, and also the abuse towards himself. It is often that trauma symptoms show themselves only when a trauma has stopped - particularly with prolonged trauma such as abuse over a number of years.

For these reasons I would suggest that your son be assessed by a psychologist if he is willing, as he would probably benefit from some therapy. Someone who specialises in adolescents and the effects of divorce on the family would be best.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: mum | 2010-09-03

Dear Ff
yes i don''t want the ex to get involved cos he talks with his fists... i don''t want my son beaten ... the father is an authoritarian who likes to control... actually the smoking started while the child was spending school holiday with the father ... the father did not contact me about this but i learnt about it from someone else.

Reply to mum
Posted by: ff | 2010-09-02

I dont want to get the ex wonder he is smoking and not doing well at school!!!! geezzz!!!!

Reply to ff

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