Our expert says:
The current situation isn't quite clear, from your message. Who has custody, and who do the kids live with ? Unless you have custody and the boy is living with you, you would probably HAVE to involve the Ex in trying to solve this problem. And surely, even if he might have been a lousy husband, he should be concerned about his son starting smoking ?
If the boy is with you, you could start with a calm discussion about how and why this concerns you, and ask about how he feels about this. If he agrees it is undesbrable in the long-run, and perhaps sees it as part of problems in dealing with the stresses of the break-up, or whatever else ( it might not be related at all )
That's a start, and how to proceed from there would depend on what emerges from such a conversation
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