Posted by: M | 2009/05/18

Teenage pregnancy

I need serious advise and help!!! My lilttle siser in law (age 15) is pregnant, the dad is my 15 year old son out of my first marriage (take note they are not blood related). We never had a clue that the two of them was up to something. Her mother (my mom in law) is naturally very upset.One positive thing is that she is on our medical aid.Where to go from here, I dont know. Abortion??? I hade the idea, how can I suggest that, that unborn is blood of mine?Adoption? I dont know,my one friend gave her child up for adoption when she was 17, and up to now, she has difficulty coming to terms with it.I was thinking about raising the baby and adopt it, but dont know if that is the right way to go.Please advise me, I' m heartbroken and feel like a failure as amother

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Our expert says:
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Oh Lordy ! Sex with a child under 16 could legally be Statutory Rape. Good to know at least they are not blood related. Her mom should recognize the full responsibilty of her daughter as well as your son. Obviously, I can't tell you what to do, except that all of you should visit a good local counsellor to work out what to do, to examine the options advantages and disadvantages all round. Some clinics may be able to recommend counsellors and social workers with particular experience in these matters. Whatever is decided, further counselling tfor the girl is highly advisable, You have not failed as a mother --- yet, and could still work out a worthwhile solution for all concerned.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Eolathin | 2009/05/18

I had an abortion at the age of 19. Even though it was traumatic, the decision I made was the best one. I don' t doubt that for a single moment. Unless you have a serious moral intolerance towards abortion, think of these two kids. They are both just kids - will you pay for schooling for the child until your son has finished studying? And your cousin? Will she study? In today' s society, you have to realise that not finishing school is NOT an option! You want what' s best for the kids - and they are learning a heart breaking and expensive lesson. Babies costs at least R2500 per month. Can you afford it?

I agree with CS - go see someone who is objective and give you real feedback, Abortion is a sticky issue, but in my case, it changed my life from a destructive road to a succesful one (I have three kids now, and am happily married)

Reply to Eolathin
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/18

You not a failure as a mom, at 15, he has a mind and will of his own. How you now handle this what' s important.

I am not for or against abortion, but I know a friend who had one done and know hates herself and her mom for convincing her to do it. Please leave that as the very very last option.

It takes 2 to tango and both of them need to sit down like adults and discuss this with YOU and your inlaws and come to an agreement over what needs to be done without bullying them into anything. The old enough to make their own minds up if they old enough to have sex. Just guide them as best you can, lay out all the pro' s and con' s of keeping the baby, abortion, adoption or you taking care of the baby till they can.

Good Luck, which ever way you look at it, that' s your grandchild.

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