Our expert says:
your dilemma is based within the situation that your daughter is still a youn person who needs guidance, boundaries and parenting, and at the same time she has become a mother herself and so finds herself between two worlds.
It is important that as her mother you still feel empowered to make decisions with her reagrding her future. However, something imporatnt to be aware of is that he is the father of the child and it is important for everyone and especially the baby that the father's role is integrated.
I would suggest that you try and have a family meeting involving the father and his parents to discuss how to proceed as this is a huge learning curve for all of you. It is important to outline that both sets of parents still remain crucial in assisiting your daughter and their son in dealing with the situation. Where possible you need to make your feelings known and so do they.
If it doesn't initially work out I would suggest you all consider involving a family therapist. An excellent organisation that will be able to give you advice is the Family Association of South Africa (FAMSA) wh0 can be contacted at www.famsa.org.za
This is a major change in both families and assimilating that change will take time and inevitably negotiation.
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