Our expert says:
If her stress lies in the "everybody knows" area, it can only have arisen AFTER she did something which everybody could know about - presumably the running away. Or is there something ELSE "everybody knows" about her ? Maybe the issue of the affair with the predatory boy ? The restraining order sounds wise - but would of course have to be amended if she went to a different school and lived elsewhere ( presumably at the school ? )
It still sounds like something's missing in how the problem is being understood. Being embarrassed at school by others knowing of her runaway wouldn't affect her ability to do her homework and studies at home, nor to doing chores at home. There must be more to it.
I don't think the bolarding school needs to be strict in the sense of being spartan and unduly restrictive, rather than helpful in having a clear and unambiguous code of rules which would be enforced reasonably. I wonder whether there i a similar set of rules for what is expected of her when she is at home ?
You seem convinced that the boy is now out of her life - is that certain ? Or possibly a degree of wishful thinking, as girls this age can be really stubborn about their affairs ?
Maybe some counselling for you and your husband would help you cope better and feel better in yourselves, which would be helpful all round
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