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Question
Posted by: Mom | 2009/11/09

teen dating

Hi

What is a reasonable age for a child to be allowed to date. my son is 14 and has a " girlfriend"  we have told him he is allowed friends but is too young for girlfriends. Now he runs away whenever he can to see this girl. She stays a distance from us so he takes the bus and train. I am just concerned that something bad will happen to him. What is a reasonable dating age please? Do 14 yr olds date?
Are they able to deal with teh issues around relationships at that age already?



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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'd think it depends on what you mean by "date". I'm a firm believer in encouraging children to enjoy childhood, as it's an opportunity that comes only once in a lifetime, and has vitally important functions, rather than rushing into adulthood or { adultery ! }
There's probably more risk to him in travelling long distances by bus and train to see her. Why not discus this with HER parents, and arrange for them to meet openly at either one's home ( with parents around ) rather than encouraging such secretive meetings ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2009/11/10

I would rather have my son entertain a girlfriend in my house, under my nose, where I can keep an eye on them, than have him learn to become dishonest just so I can say that I " stopped"  him from dating at a young age.

You have no idea where this girl' s mom is and what they get up to. 14 is when kids start dating nowadays, rather be honest and uncomfortable in your self than having to deal with teenage pregnancy, drug usage and smoking. Because they will experiment, no matter how you raised them. Make sure that you always have condoms in the house! Rather that, than having to deal with a son with AIDS or other STI' s.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Kelly | 2009/11/10

I think thats normal.
Rather allow it and allow here to come over then he won' t have to run away and see her in secret and will be more open with you regarding his relationship.
He is going to be with her whether you allow it or not and will only rebel if you against him having a gf

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/10

I'd think it depends on what you mean by "date". I'm a firm believer in encouraging children to enjoy childhood, as it's an opportunity that comes only once in a lifetime, and has vitally important functions, rather than rushing into adulthood or { adultery ! }
There's probably more risk to him in travelling long distances by bus and train to see her. Why not discus this with HER parents, and arrange for them to meet openly at either one's home ( with parents around ) rather than encouraging such secretive meetings ?

Reply to cybershrink

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