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Question
Posted by: Basetsana | 2012/02/28

Team Building

Our office is scheduled to go for a team building, I am not comfortable with office outing, actually with being around a group of colleagues socially, I am a reserved person but get along with everyone. My problem is i dont want to go with them, it will be for 3 full days and I am already feeling a bitter taste in my mouth just for being with them for so many days, I have fear or expressing myself socially. Like dancing and so forth. I have been working here for 4 years buts still I am not comfortable with this team building thing, it will be in two weeks somewhere at the Lodge but I don''t want to go, i wish to find a good reason to be excused. Is it a must or will I be forced if I tell my manager that I am not ok with it, or comfortable with that set ups, where we are many I cant talk much, but with one on one person, i interact very well. I am very cofident with myself but when comes to many people, i feel so uneasy.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I am highly sceptical about many so-called "team building" exercises, though they are very profitable for those who organize them, I see very very little evidence that they are actually useful or effective.
Anyhow. It sounds, though, as though you may feel generally uneasy in social settings, especially when they threaten to be rather unstructured and not strictly work-related. There may be a degree of social anxiety disorder or maybe merely ordinary shyness, both of which can respond well to simple psychological assistance.
Whether its a must is a matter of company policy. I don't believe such exercises should ever be made compulsory, but some companies take them very seriously. Why not have a chat ( 1 on 1 !) with your manager, and discuss how you feel uneasy about expressing yourself in larger numbers of people, and asking his advice on how you can react to this ? As Disco says, you may find it less intimindating than you are expecting, and yes, it would be better to plead tiredness and retire to your room in the commonplace alcohol fueled later night sessions.
The you'll be feeling well rested in the morning while the others nurse their hangovers !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Disco | 2012/03/02

Faceup, 100% with you

Reply to Disco
Posted by: Romany | 2012/03/01

I would no go either....
Work is 8 to 5. The rest ofthe time is for me and familiy.
I do not believe in socialising with co-workers, ESPECIALLY not for 3 days.
Yip... get booked off

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Bassie | 2012/02/29

Faceup, you are saying that your don''t know. Say what you like but be marry and happy. If its how I feel and the situation I feel uncomfortable with you may not be the judge.

Reply to Bassie
Posted by: Faceup | 2012/02/29

This just sounds like an excuse to me to get out of it, How will you ever progress in life if you dont face you fears, life is all about taking the bull by the horns and owning it. You should go to this team building and face your fears, for all you know you might make your next best friend overthere or even *GASP* learn something about yourself, cowards always take the easy way out.

Reply to Faceup
Posted by: Bassie | 2012/02/28

Thats a great idea, Im actually visiting my doc on Tesday anyway for appointment, will highlight to him and see if I can be lucky. Thxs, i hope to get help, one day I can also be free to have fun like anyone else.

Reply to Bassie
Posted by: solution | 2012/02/28

Get booked off sick.
Tell your Doc you are suffering anxiety over this, he will give you a note - by law he does not have to give a diagnosis only that you are ill and cannot attend. lt would be a very stupid company to question the validity of a sick note. lf they question your lack of attendence due to illness they would open themselves up to a harrasment grievence

Reply to solution
Posted by: Basetsana | 2012/02/28

I usually go and later on will retire to my room early and the colleagues have this tendency of labelling people as " boring"  if you don''t chill with them till late and there are groups of friends. I just don''t belong to any, at times I will just sit there just to fit in, but inside its just not what I like at all.

Reply to Basetsana
Posted by: Disco | 2012/02/28

The purpose of a team building exercise is to unite a group, develop strengths, and address weaknesses. Why not give it a try and see how it goes, we tend to be afraid of the unknown. put a brave face and attend and talk only if you have to and stick to work related sessions, do not attend after parties were alcohol will be served because it is were colleagues tend to show their true colours.

Reply to Disco
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/28

I am highly sceptical about many so-called "team building" exercises, though they are very profitable for those who organize them, I see very very little evidence that they are actually useful or effective.
Anyhow. It sounds, though, as though you may feel generally uneasy in social settings, especially when they threaten to be rather unstructured and not strictly work-related. There may be a degree of social anxiety disorder or maybe merely ordinary shyness, both of which can respond well to simple psychological assistance.
Whether its a must is a matter of company policy. I don't believe such exercises should ever be made compulsory, but some companies take them very seriously. Why not have a chat ( 1 on 1 !) with your manager, and discuss how you feel uneasy about expressing yourself in larger numbers of people, and asking his advice on how you can react to this ? As Disco says, you may find it less intimindating than you are expecting, and yes, it would be better to plead tiredness and retire to your room in the commonplace alcohol fueled later night sessions.
The you'll be feeling well rested in the morning while the others nurse their hangovers !

Reply to cybershrink

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