Posted by: Stormy | 2009-03-08

tbi help

My very close friend had an accident and is recovering from TBI. It is now 80 days since the accident. Should I maintain contact with him? His family feels I should not do so often

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't think I'm hearing all the story. A close friend ( how close, one wonders ? ) has been in an accident and is recovering from a traumatic brain injury ( how severe was the brain injury ? ). In broad general terms, of course one would keep contact with a friend who has been experiencing misfortune. But "His family seels I should not do so often" This hints at more going on. Do the family perhaps feel that you have become more emotionally involved than is useful for your friend ? TBI can affect people differently --- is the person perhaps upset or agitated by your visits, and more dificult to assist after you have visited ? If so, their request would make good sense. Is this perhaps the advice of the doc caring for your friend ? Are you, perhaps, more anxious to see your friend just now, than your friend is anxious to see you ?

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Posted by: stormy | 2009-03-08

Thank you Cyberdoc. I should have been more clear. We met and fell in love almost a year and a half before the accident. I am confused because I feel that if I don' t talk him then He will feel that I deserted him. The thing is that he was sent away to someone who can care for him and apparently I am told that He cant get close to them because the mor I phone and speak to him then he wants to come back home and they cant manage with him. I was told that I should phone less and if I do phone then I should not speak to him for too long- but I should not ignore him altogether They say that it will help him regain independance. Wont He feel that I am being distant or trying to shrug him off???? It hurts so much. I prayed so much since the accident and I feel that He was granted a second chance. Please help. If it means distancing myself from his life, I will do so- just as long as he gets better. What must I do???

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