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Posted by: LOLLY | 2013/02/04

TAKING A BREAK

WHEN I MOVED IN WITH MY BOYFRIEND IN JUNE LAST YEAR ,HE WAS TO PAY LOBOLA IN DECEMBER ,WHICH HE HASNT DONE.HE IS MESSY,LAZY,RUDE AND VERY ARROGANT,IF WE HAVE A DISGREEMENT HE WILL SHOUT AND TALK TO ME LIKE IM AM NOTHING EVEN IF WE ARE IN PUBLIC -I HAVE TRIED TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOUR HE DOESNT STOP INSTEAD HE WILL BE ANGRY FOR DAYS,NOT TALK TO ME OR HAVE SEX ,WE ONLY HAVE IT WHEN HE WANTS. I AM SIX MONTHS PREGNANT AND AM EMOTIONALY EXHAUSTED BECAUSE OF HIS BEHAVIOUR AND ATTITUDE.LAST NIGHT I TOLD HIM I NEED A BREAK FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP,HE ASKS HOW.WE ARE STAYING AT MY PLACE,DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT TO HIM THAT HE MUST MOVE OUT??WHENEVER WE TALK MARRIAGE HE NOW IS UNSURE IF HE WANTS TO GET MARRIED OR WHAT.I FEEL WE NEED TO GO OUR SEPAREATE WAYS N DECIDE WHETHER WE CONTINUE DATING OR WE JUST RAISE THE CHILD,BECAUSE FOR NOW LIVING WITH HIM IS A NIGHTMARE

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Posted by: Tintswalo | 2013/02/04

Eish Lolly i feel very sorry for you dear. Phela you just put it there like you were talking about me. I had that very same kind of a looser in my life. He behaved exactly as your bf, i thought it will get better with time so i kept it on till i cant locate my sanity anymore, thats when i called it quits.To think i used to fear leaving him, he still hasnt changed and will never do. I have never been so laxed since, i hv so much peace, i smile, i pray, i made friends and....yes my friend i even gained weight for the first time since i knew him. We have a child, he helps when he feels bt nonetheless i am in a better space and i am loving it. Get yourself out of that mess my friend, it will consume you. The sooner the better.

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Posted by: Caps | 2013/02/04

It''s rather hard to read an all-caps message.

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Posted by: T | 2013/02/04

Tjo, ja neh... Tough situation you''re in, Lolly, but you seem to be handling it very well.
Do tell him that living with him is a nightmare, you want your personal space back. Spell it out. Tell him you''re miserable around him, but it''s your house so you can''t leave and guess WHO has to leave....drum roll .....
But that''s of course NOT if you still want him in your life.
" HE WILL SHOUT AND TALK TO ME LIKE IM AM NOTHING EVEN IF WE ARE IN PUBLIC"  - Dealbreaker right there! Talk back!!
To me it sounds like all is already lost, he''s broken his promise of making an honest woman out of you, you''re neck-deep with the pregnancy - basically, you''re trapped, the way he sees it, and he does what he does because he thinks the situation that you''re in demands that you put up with his rubbish. I say cut your losses, unless he decides that he wants to change his ways - What''s the point of getting married to someone who makes you feel like nothing?

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