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Question
Posted by: Irene | 2010/01/21

Swinging

My husband want us to start swinging , please I need some advise from a professional on this matter .

Regards Irene .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Apologies for the delay in responding.

You have had a range of responses already that I'm sure have given you lots to think about. I am wondering what professional advice you are looking for. Is it normal to want to do this? I think many people consider it at some point, particularly after a while together. This doesn't mean that they all try it. You need to think through how you feel about this, how it sits with your values, how you would feel after. If you are still thinking about it, then think through how you would make it clear what is and isn't okay for you. I think some of the insights from those who have done it (some of the respondents) needs to be considered carefully. Whilst it may have caused distress and relationship breakdown for some, there are clearly some people (I'm afraid I don't know the proportion) who can manage this within their marriage/relationship. What do you think would be problematic for YOU? How could you manage this/prevent this? Does your husband respect these worries and any conditions you might set down? If you choose to go ahead, I would agree to take things slowly so that you can address issues in less intimate circumstances to make sure that you have considered as many angles as possible when more touch and sexual play is involved. Remember also to practice safe sex.
If on the otherhand you do not want to go ahead, hear your husbands wish to enhance your sex life and explore that in other ways that are acceptable to both. "The Joy of Sex" by Alex Comfort is a great book to try new and playful ways of being sexually intimate.

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Our users say:
Posted by: marconi | 2010/07/01

i would like to know if there is any medication that can cure premature ejaculation

Reply to marconi
Posted by: LYNETTE | 2010/03/03

Personally I do not think it is a good idea, maybe exiting in the beginning but definately not ongoing. The disease you can
pick up sleeping around, I don''t think so and I am sure your
marriage will end up in divorce.

Reply to LYNETTE
Posted by: ROUMAL | 2010/02/17

IRENE
Aids is real so swinging will help to get aids fast and really fast aids transmission is easy so swinging is not good its is as good as seeing prostitutes- do not even entertain such in your life it is a huge risk besides the physical the emotional trauma Dont do it and do not allow it period.

Reply to ROUMAL
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/01/25

Apologies for the delay in responding.

You have had a range of responses already that I'm sure have given you lots to think about. I am wondering what professional advice you are looking for. Is it normal to want to do this? I think many people consider it at some point, particularly after a while together. This doesn't mean that they all try it. You need to think through how you feel about this, how it sits with your values, how you would feel after. If you are still thinking about it, then think through how you would make it clear what is and isn't okay for you. I think some of the insights from those who have done it (some of the respondents) needs to be considered carefully. Whilst it may have caused distress and relationship breakdown for some, there are clearly some people (I'm afraid I don't know the proportion) who can manage this within their marriage/relationship. What do you think would be problematic for YOU? How could you manage this/prevent this? Does your husband respect these worries and any conditions you might set down? If you choose to go ahead, I would agree to take things slowly so that you can address issues in less intimate circumstances to make sure that you have considered as many angles as possible when more touch and sexual play is involved. Remember also to practice safe sex.
If on the otherhand you do not want to go ahead, hear your husbands wish to enhance your sex life and explore that in other ways that are acceptable to both. "The Joy of Sex" by Alex Comfort is a great book to try new and playful ways of being sexually intimate.

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: Lady Gaga | 2010/01/24

For once I love my husband so much that I can not stand the thought of him with a nother woman, I have family and friends tha swinged and ended up devocing, they say it is fun until the husband/wife keep sleeping with that person without the other one knowing it,

Personely I will never do it, swingers is only for people that dont have respect for each other

Reply to Lady Gaga
Posted by: Personal | 2010/01/22

Its entirely personal opinion. We are married couple and did once, just for one lifetime experience. It was fantastic watching each other grilled by other partner. We as a husband wife still love each other.

Reply to Personal
Posted by: aaa | 2010/01/22

Most swingers land up getting divorced, very few stay together. It may last a few years or longer, but in the end most will regret it and then it' s too late. Swingers will tell you how great it is, but won' t tell about all those they knew as swingers who now have broken marriages. There are many other ways of spicing up your sex life.

Reply to aaa
Posted by: Zee | 2010/01/21

Go to Buzzle dot Com... Go read on Sex and Sexuality... I found it interesting and do not agree with Paying The Price. Please take into account we all have different relationships, some couples do what others find Taboo (and that can even be going down south for some). So to broadens one' s knowledge about what is really happening in the world and to fantasise alittle, take some time to read some of the articles. Irene, I would definitely not just jump into it, maybe set a boundary with her husband to only watch another couple and be watched. See if you like it from there. If not, then yes, STOP there and then. Your husband was honest in telling you that, but what I think you need to do is spice it up in your bedroom abit before he does it without you.

Reply to Zee
Posted by: paying the price | 2010/01/21

IRENE if you love him enough to see him with another woman or he don' t mind you getting drilled by another man while he watches then hey what the hell. BUT IF NOT. YOUR MARRIAGE IS DOOMENED FROM THAT DAY FORTH. swinging is for the not in love ,bored couples.so choose wisely.otherwise you will end up like me.paying the price.

Reply to paying the price

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