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Question
Posted by: ME | 2008/10/06

Suspicious

Short story, I had a strong feeling that my husband had an affair and when confronted he denied it. (not the first time i suspected).
I' m at a point where i don' t care anymore as i know that i will eventually find out anyway, and i am just waiting for the moment I don' t really how long it takes, to leave him. I pretend that everything is hunkie dorie and i shower him with affection right now like u won' t believe, so he can' t turn around and say that it was because i was not paying him any attention to his needs.
I play the perfect little wife which i actually enjoy (don' t get confused) it' s all part of the plan. I do love him but i feel like i can' t wait for him to make the wrong move so i can get out the marriage to see myself truely happy as he causes me too much pain and i don' t think he realises how much really coz i stick around after he' s episodes, even though i' ve told him so may times before how much he hurts me.
Is there anyone in CPT that shares this sentiment or somehow relates to it. I am also looking for lady friends to spend time with, i' m not really a clubbing person and like to have a accossional drink, as i am always at home looking after the kids and never get to go out alone...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Am I understanding you right ? You have no actual evidence other than a strong feeling that your husband is having an affair --- you may be right or wrong, but you are planning on the assumption that you're right ?
Lets see what other readers can suggest here

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: ja | 2008/10/07

" I do love him..."  - Sound like the problem lies with you. If you love him why are you trying to hurt him?

Reply to ja
Posted by: sophia | 2008/10/06

So youre just waiting for your husband to ACTUALLY do something wrong so you can leave him?

Do you know that in South Africa we have a no-fault divorce system ... there are only two reasons you get divorced - Irreconciable differences and mental instability.

So if you think by waiting for your husband to commit adultery (and for you to have proof) you are wasting your own happiness. He can sleep with 100 women and I dont think it would have any effect on the outcome of your divorce.

The only thing you would gain is the moral upperhand which you are losing slowly anyway by living in a marriage where you are wiaitng to trap your husband ... But where does that leave you anyway... Time is precious, get out now.

Reply to sophia

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