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Question
Posted by: MissB | 2011/09/29

Surviving depression

hi there,

I didn''t know where else to turn to.
a week ago, i had the worst relapse of Depression that i have ever had.
I have been precibed anti-depressents in the past, but it numbed me so much that i did not even recognise myself so i stopped the pills.
i am not a lifeless, unhappy weight on everyone around me, and everything cheery and every smile is a lie.
i have been taking 5HTP for Solal, but i cant say that it is doing anything for me.
i say a GP, who felt that i may be bi-polar and referred me to a phychiatrist for an evalutaion, when i called to check on the cost of the appointment he had made for me i was told told it would cost more than R1500, i just cannot afford that.
i cry myself to sleep everynight, and i am up by 3 to 4 am every morning.
I have a 4yr old little girl who i want to be the best mom ever to her, but she has already started to take care of me having realised that something is not right with mommy.
I am so scared that my depression is going to affect her childhood, and i dont want her to grow up that way,
i try to be happy around her but it is so hard to find joy in anything in life .
i feel helpless and like a burden on everyone.
i cant bring myself to lean on anyone for fear of being misunderstood and for fear of ppl thinking that i am seeking attention.
i just want to get better, i am to smile and laugh and be happy.
i dont understand why that is so hard.
i feel lost, i dont know what to do anymore.

Please help me find the steps to a brighter day.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

5HTP is not a recognized effective treatment for depression. The cost quoted for a psychiatric initial assessment sounds rather excessive, and you should ask your GP if he can't find you someone less hectically expensive. Your depression should respond to proper treatment, and then will not harm your child at all. If necessary, get assessment and treatment from your nearest medical school dept of psychiatry or major state / provincial hospital or clinic.
The Depression & Anxiety support group ( number on this page )may be helpful, including helping you find a more affordable shrink.
Persist - this disorder can be controlled, and you're worth it !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: MissB | 2011/10/03

i am still depressed. i know it. yesterday... i felt as weak as can be. i screamed as loud as i could. i took a belt, locked myself in the bathroom and wanted nothing more than my own death. i could for the life of me find no good reason why other''s should live with me in their life , let alone how i can live with myself.
and than, i realised that i am stronger than i though. and i cleared my head and looked at things differently.
i thought myself out of this bad day. i did it by myselft, and with no support whatsoever as my boyfriend slammed the door on his way out having had enough of my ups and downs.
i sat there knowing that it was me VS me...
it''s hard being alone with yourself. its really hard facing yourself.
the self pitying, self loathing, destructive person that we all have the ability of becoming when we allow ourself to think we are weak.
i know i am strong however. i have survived more than my fair share in my 24yrs on this earth.
and despite everyone else, i am still here and i have survived.
i may not be as sane as i should or could be.
but i know that i can make this on my own.
at the end of the day, even though its hard for me to admit it..i put myself in this situation all on my own.
others cannot out you down unless you allow them to.
i opened the door and allowed everyone the opportunity to chip away at my sanity. i can only blame myself. and therefore, only me can close that door and restore what i allowed to be broken.
if only it was like in a shop "  you break it you buy it"  and take your broken stuff with you, we do not need the clutter...
but my shop doesnt have that policy, and i now realise that i am the only one who holds the super glue that will put all the pieces back together.

Reply to MissB
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/30

5HTP is not a recognized effective treatment for depression. The cost quoted for a psychiatric initial assessment sounds rather excessive, and you should ask your GP if he can't find you someone less hectically expensive. Your depression should respond to proper treatment, and then will not harm your child at all. If necessary, get assessment and treatment from your nearest medical school dept of psychiatry or major state / provincial hospital or clinic.
The Depression & Anxiety support group ( number on this page )may be helpful, including helping you find a more affordable shrink.
Persist - this disorder can be controlled, and you're worth it !

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: MissB | 2011/09/29

thank you for your kind words liza. I do have a medical aid with Dicovery but its only a hospital plan, will look into it.

i did also feel that the price was ridiculous.

so fustrated.

it''s not ok to feel this way.

Reply to MissB
Posted by: Liza | 2011/09/29

Obviously your GP made an appointment at the most expensive psychiatrist in your area! R1500 for 1 visit?!? It''s practically extortion! There are far cheaper options available. You don''t say whether you have a medical aid. If you don''t, do yourself the favor and go to your closest government clinic. They can refer you to a state psychiatrist for treatment. You could also go to your closest government hospital and see someone there. The biggest difference between the two being that you pay more at the hospital, but the service is better and you get to see a specialist psychiatrist much quicker. (I''ve been under state care - it''s not great, but the help is there when you really need it)

You could also phone the Depression and Anxiety group helpline. They can tell you what your options are and what these options could cost.

You deserve to be helped. Your daughter deserves it too.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza

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