Posted by: Vegan | 2008-11-05


Dear anyone who' s survived a break-up

My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We were together for a long time. I initiated the break-up, so in a way it' s like I have no right to mourn. But I won' t stop loving him overnight, and I don' t know how I' m going to survive the guilt, doubt, loneliness and utter grief in the weeks to come. It' s hard to keep the bigger picture in mind when every cell in your body is telling you to reach out to him and try and reverse what' s been done.

I don' t have a question, I just needed to vent...and hopefully to hear how other readers have survived break-ups?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

We may still mourn the results of our own decisions, and some decisions may be both sad and right. And youi mourn not just what atually was and was lost, but also what never was, but which you hoped for, and must now acept will never happen

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Our users say:
Posted by: Vegan | 2008-11-06

Thanks Kay and CS...that' s good advice and insight. i think living in the present, keeping busy and snuggling up to my kitty at night will get me through this. One hard day at a time. Kay, I can' t even imagine how difficult it must have been for you to end to marriages that were doing you more harm than good. That takes a lot of courage.

Reply to Vegan
Posted by: Me | 2008-11-06

Thats lovely advice Kay. I actually also needed to hear that today

Reply to Me
Posted by: Kay in Gtown | 2008-11-05

I' ve left two husbands. You still mourn the loss of the relationship, whether you leave or are left - you have every right to mourn, you lost too. Time helps heal, cultivating friendships helps, cats are great and chocolate good. Seriously, let yourself mourn, cry, and don' t beat yourself up. You only have to survive the present and once the present has gone by for a while, things ease up. You may be able to talk with him about it, in time.

Friends who will just let you cry and listen and not try to FIX but accept how you are, are the greatest!

Reply to Kay in Gtown

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