Our expert says:
Eish. I know how it feels ! Forunately, I prefer to see flowers growing in a garden, as I can hadly recall the last time someone sent me a bunch of flowers, let alone pretty bracelets. OK, I think a bunch of flowers from colleagues last time I was in hospital for surgery, but I couldn't do much with them while bandaged. And they fell to pieces before I emerged whole again. Not a facetious point, though --- men have little or no expectation of receiving such gifts and favours, yet this is not seen as the exemplum of sexual inequality which it is.
But I can also identify with your experience that when you are perceived as strong and capable ( whether or not such perception is accurate ) people tend to feel relieved of any idea of offering help when you might fairly obviously need it. Worse, and I find this more common in SA than in other countries where I have lived and worked, are the people who offer and indeed make very specific promises of things they will do or give, and then cheerfully forget them entirely. I find it's best to assume that they make such offers in order that THEY can enjoy feeling good and generous, and to assume that these will never actually happen.
But then, some of us may appear more invulnerable than we need to, and may find it unusually difficult to ask for help. Sometimes we failto even hint at the sort of hurt others may have caused us. As Zexeon implies, sometimes we expect others to "know" that we need, and what we need, without even indicating this --- assuming they are more perceptive than is realistic to assume.
Your response to Zeeon's message shows admirable insight --- good luck in putting these insights into operation !
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