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Question
Posted by: LAN | 2011/12/14

SUICIDE/EMOTIONAL

Dear CyberDoc
I dated a guy for about 7 months in this time we broke up for a month. He came back after the break up. Things started to look better the second time around. However it just went down hilll from there. Im 27 and his 25. I have a problem with trusting him and he has a problem with me having a problem. He would get upset when i keep asking if his faithful. His got a very sharp tongue and he doesnt care what he critizes me with. The other night it became a bit physical in my car coz i could no longer stand what he throws at me. In return he slapped me. He accuses me of hacking into his email of which i didnt do. He heard stories while we were dating that i did it with my ex this to i didnt do. I do however know who it is, but i would prefer not to say. He accuses me of other things as well.

Despite the fact that its very hard for me to let go of him because of the love factor i do I know i dont deserve the way he treats me and what he calls me, When i say his got a sharp tongue i really mean it. He would tell me things like i dispise you, eat shit and die, your a liar and manupulator, the list go''s on. His very stubborn in nature and when his in that mind frame you cant get him out. I on the other hand dont like to let things stay as it is and want to always sort things out. He thinks his always right.

He doesnt care what he tells me and how it makes me feel. In his eyes i deserve the things he tells me cause im a liar and manupulator. The truth is he makes me feel like less of a human being like a piece of trash. Which im not i can honestly i am a good person with a good heart. Im educated yet he thinks he can belittle me.

The thought of taking my own life has crossed my mind its not the first time though. Im tired of the fighting its physically and mentally draining. I honestly dont know what to do I dont have any energy to do anything im not eating or sleeping.

Maybe i am a sucker for punishment like he mentioned so many times.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not clear from your message whether you have any good objective reason for suspecting him of being unfaithful, or whether this represents a degree of insecurity in yourself. If he is faithful, and keeps on being challenged, this would be undersandably annoying.
But overall, what you're describing sounds like a really unhappy relationship and unpleasant for both of you, and indeed, nothing much like love.
There doesn't sound like there's any good reason for remaining together, rather than parting as calmly as possible, and each looking for someone more compatable

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: June | 2011/12/17

I''m sorry but if you don''t trust him, question him constantly, are suspicious of his behaviour, etc, then why are you with him? I''m not even talking now about the way he treats you, I''m talking about the way YOU treat him. Do you deserve all the nasty comments? Of course not. The slap? Hell no. BUT perhaps he ''acts'' suspiciously because he knows you don''t trust him and like a typical man, thinks that instead of just telling you his activities and whereabouts, he''d save you the drama and hide it. Another question I have is this- have you ever thought that he''s just USING you? I mean, he has a daughter with an ex. Ever thought he''s with you to try make ex jealous and want him back? Either way, this guy is an idiot and moron but you can''t blame him for you not being strong enough to walk away.

Reply to June
Posted by: LAN | 2011/12/15

He has a daughter with his ex of 7 years. When we broke up he went back to her. He would say there is nothing between them but I have my doubts it. his behavior and attitude is also suspicious.
I also suspect him doing things behind my back that might not be with his ex. He keeps saying that I should have proof. But how if his sly enough to cover his tracks well

Reply to LAN
Posted by: DON''T WORRY | 2011/12/15

Hi there, first things first, God created us all, if HE did not have a plan for you, HE would not have created you. HE will also not place anything in your path if HE is not sure that you will be able to pass it. Remember one thing, we all only live once, why let a jerk like him destroy this. Do you know how special you are, somewhere out there, there is someone who will treat you as you want to be treated and be the love of your life. No MAN or woman has a right to make you feel this way. If you are tired of fighting why stay with him? What will you gain if you take your own life? Sorrow for your family, not for him.

Reply to DON''T WORRY
Posted by: Just Me | 2011/12/15

Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? If not, then the continues questioning would drive anyone crazy. People should trust until people give them a reason not to.

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: Phil | 2011/12/15

1. No woman should stay with a guy that abuses her.

2. He sounds like a little immature bratt  why would you want an idiot like that anyways?

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Rachel | 2011/12/15

And you are with him for what reason?? Why would anyone put up with this ill treatment? Dump his sorry @ss, he will not change, you took him back after the breakup and he treats you no better than he did before. He is abusing you and you are allowing it, no person should have to put up with that ...

Reply to Rachel
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/15

Its not clear from your message whether you have any good objective reason for suspecting him of being unfaithful, or whether this represents a degree of insecurity in yourself. If he is faithful, and keeps on being challenged, this would be undersandably annoying.
But overall, what you're describing sounds like a really unhappy relationship and unpleasant for both of you, and indeed, nothing much like love.
There doesn't sound like there's any good reason for remaining together, rather than parting as calmly as possible, and each looking for someone more compatable

Reply to cybershrink

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