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Question
Posted by: Tak | 2010-02-02

suicide my option.

hi there
I am very seriously considering my suicide this weekend. There is nothing left here for me and I' m a real liability to society. I' m the most dependent person I know. I can' t do anything for myself and it' s disgusting! I' ve never been able to make anything from anything. I' ve been running in circles trying to find a solution to my situation, but the truth is I' m the one that causes all the crap in my own life. I' m pathetic. Every time I get myself out of the ' hole'  I just leap back in it, and even further than the previous time. I cannot push myself anymore. I' m truly pathetic. I' ve planned a very simple hanging on Sunday. Funny enough, I feel better than I have in a while which has finally given me the energy to make the decision, and it also scares me that, like ALWAYS, I' ll fail at life AGAIN. I can' t face that anymore. I just don' t WANT to.
So this perhaps is my FINAL ditch effort to find some sort of advice that I don' t know, that I haven' t tried already! I' d rather people didn' t attempt to tell me that I' m wrong or that life IS worth living etc etc etc. I' ve been down that soppy road too often and I' m sick of it!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't do it. Please. among so many other good reasons for not doing it, it is never wise to insist on taking an irreversible step to solve reversible and remediable problems. There is also, whatever method is used, a high risk of surviving with your problems intact, but significantly damaged by the attempt.
Dependency can be annoying to others, but for Pete's sake, with the right sort of CBT-oriented therapist / counsellor, you can learn to be independent and capable.
If you've been causing the crap in your life, in a way that's good news, because you can learn to stop doing that - whereas the crap caused by outside forces sometimes can't be changed so easily.
And it sounds as though you've been trying to do this all on your own, without the proper expert assistance to solve problems. That's never wise.
And there's no such thing as simple hanging - and surviving with all your problems plus brain damage is not an improvement, especially when the problems are otherwise soluble with the right help and your own sincere participation in their solution.
Its common for people to experience what you describe as a mild sense of relief having made a potentially fatal decision to harm oneself. But that's a false sense of relief.
Like can be awful at times - I'm not going to tell you it's always blissful and jolly. But it includes good stuff to. If you find it tedious na dlarming - what if death turns out to be not what you expect ? Its like sneaking out the exit door at a cinema, and then realizing you can't get back in.
And Nia raises the very important point of the cruel suffering inflicted on loved ones, friends, even acquaintances.
And read and re-read the excellent comments from Liza, Nia, and qwerty.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Red | 2010-02-02

Why do you post here in the first place if this is what you are going to do? You are secretly crying for help by posting here and I know you are not going to go through with it on Sunday so take the advice given to you and I pray to God he will look after you.

Reply to Red
Posted by: Nia | 2010-02-02

Tak. My neighbour commited suicide last week Tuesday. I can tell you one thing ... that was the most selfish, hurtful act she could have done. I watch her loved ones suffer exery day. I see them cry and cry and cry. I see them struggle with unanswered questions. I see her husband going from sad to hurt to angry to mad to lonely and devestated and back to sad again. Asking questions, struggling to sort out the admin, missing her, wondering what they did wrong, being angry at all the time invested in a marriage just to be trashed by her.

Yes ... she took the easy way out. WIthout even thinking of what it is doing to so many people who really loved her.

Excellent advise from qwerty and lisa. I read the purpose driven life book and it is really a good book to help you see the meaning in life. Try reading the book, seek help from a proffesional and get better. Trust me - there are people that will be hurt and devastated when you are gone.

Reply to Nia
Posted by: qwerty | 2010-02-02

OK, so I won' t go down the soppy road. I don' t know you, and I can' t make any assumptions about your life.
But I do know one thing - God made you. And that means you have a purpose!! If you decide to take yourself out of the equation, it means that somewhere, someone is missing out because maybe your purpose was to mean something to someone else. You have a purpose in life. You do. Everybody does! The kicker is finding what it is!

Tell you what - there is a book called " purpose driven life"  by Rick Warren, that is all about finding your God-given purpose in life. It' s a 40 day journey where you read one chapter a day. Try it! You said you were looking for some last advice that maybe you haven' t tried already. I' m sure you haven' t tried this, so what have you got to lose?

And try talking to someone. Even if you just post here everyday, there are lots of people who will support you and give you advice. I' ll be looking out for your posts here!! Keep us in the loop.

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: Liza | 2010-02-02

Success is not about what you have achieved, but rather about what obstacles you' ve overcome to get where you are. And you only ever truly fail if you stop trying.

Before taking that final step - do you have anybody - brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, cousins, nieces and nephews etc who' re going to ask WHY after you' ve done it? Who' re going to be shattered if you succeed in that final step? I drank 400 tablets with a bottle of vodka and 2 litres of juice. I didn' t even think of what the consequences would be. I just wanted the pain to go away and I thought that if I keep on stuffing tablets down my throat that the pain would go away eventually. I have over 15 relatives and friends who would have been utterly devastated if I had succeeded. My brother was crying like a baby as they were trying to restart my heart in the emergency room. Luckily I was only in a coma for only 2-3 days before regaining conciousness. My brother took a picture of me smoking my first cigarette after regaining conciousness - SINCERELY SCARY.

Live might not be worth living to you - but how many people are there that think your life IS worth living and would be devastated if you' re not around anymore? How many people are there who would like to help if you just ASK?

If you have a medical aid - please consider going to a psychiatric clinic and getting some help. If you don' t have a medical aid, go to the nearest government hospital and ask for help. I' ve spent 2 weeks in a psych ward of a government hospital and honestly - it wasn' t that bad. They even allowed me to smoke in my room.... The food was edible. The psychiatrist was absolutely useless, but the psychologist that I saw there (you' re the best Lillian!) was absolutely wonderful.

I' m not going to tell you that life is worth living - what I' m going to tell you is that you' re about to cause a h#ll of a lot of doubt, grief, people thinking what they could have done to prevent it etc. You might be unhappy, but you' re going to cause MUCH more unhappiness if you go through with this in the people that are left behind.

That is my 2c worth
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-02-02

Don't do it. Please. among so many other good reasons for not doing it, it is never wise to insist on taking an irreversible step to solve reversible and remediable problems. There is also, whatever method is used, a high risk of surviving with your problems intact, but significantly damaged by the attempt.
Dependency can be annoying to others, but for Pete's sake, with the right sort of CBT-oriented therapist / counsellor, you can learn to be independent and capable.
If you've been causing the crap in your life, in a way that's good news, because you can learn to stop doing that - whereas the crap caused by outside forces sometimes can't be changed so easily.
And it sounds as though you've been trying to do this all on your own, without the proper expert assistance to solve problems. That's never wise.
And there's no such thing as simple hanging - and surviving with all your problems plus brain damage is not an improvement, especially when the problems are otherwise soluble with the right help and your own sincere participation in their solution.
Its common for people to experience what you describe as a mild sense of relief having made a potentially fatal decision to harm oneself. But that's a false sense of relief.
Like can be awful at times - I'm not going to tell you it's always blissful and jolly. But it includes good stuff to. If you find it tedious na dlarming - what if death turns out to be not what you expect ? Its like sneaking out the exit door at a cinema, and then realizing you can't get back in.
And Nia raises the very important point of the cruel suffering inflicted on loved ones, friends, even acquaintances.
And read and re-read the excellent comments from Liza, Nia, and qwerty.

Reply to cybershrink

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