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Question
Posted by: Tired | 2009-10-02

suicidal bf

It seems u are going to hear from me everyday.yesterday after work he had a soccer game.we went.thou I was very tired.i asked him on our way if he didn’ t re think what I asked him to do.he said he is not going and it is final,I should stop trying to help him because if I think I am helping I am not ,im just making it worse for him.because he is trying to forget.hes really frustrating me.i let it go.
We got home around 20h30 took a bath.
At the time I was in the shower he brushing his teeth on the basin.i was creaming because I opened hot water and couldn’ t close and somwhow I didn’ t get out coz I was trying to close the tab.
He didn’ t even ask whats wring.after I took a bath I asked him why he does that.he said it never occurs to him.he always does it.i once got burned with hot oil cooking and he never came to check whats wrong when I screamed.only after I showed him that it is bad is when he said something.
And I remember I was sick when I told him he said nothing.i later asked him why.he said he just feels I want his attention I am not sick.
Im not a baby to be acting sick so I can get his attention.a week later I went to the doctor I couldn’ t walk because it was very bad.spent the week at home.
Ok
So last night I was very pissed I am trying so hard to be patient with him but it isn’ t easy,he just keep pushing me.
I stood up because he was teeling me I should accept him and that he don’ t ask whats wrong whenever something happens.that’ s him why do I want him to be someone else.im trying to change him.and whenever I disagree with him he says I want to call the shots in this relationship
So after I left him on the couch,I went to the bedroom.i was crying.he later came telling me he is sorry.
Now he went on talking aout how horrible he is.he killed he dad.he is aways hurting me.he killed our baby(he forced me to terminate)he was crying so hard.i tyried telling him otherwise but he wouldn’ t take it,he fell asleep,.when I wake up I wen to the kitchen I found all his pills gone.the boxes are empty.
He has a problem falling asleep so he went to the doctor on Tuesday.he was given sleeping pills and oother pills for back pain.
He drank them all.i woke him up.gave him a glass of milk.i was crying.he told me I wont cry anymore when he is dead.i tried teeling him it is not the solution.
Hes really hurtin me,im starting to feel depressed like I can just scream.and tell him to stop beaing this way.
I tried talking to him calmly.he said he wont do it again,but he is still not going for counseling..i can tell he is just saying to get off me.i called his best friend.he told me he will talk to him.he sent me.his mother and his 2brothers that he is sorry if he every hurt us in anyway.and he loves us very much.
He has a cra and he is renovating his mothers house now he wants a one series bmw im teeling him he will get after he is done with the house because it is expensinve,so now I just let it go and let him buy it.i want him to be happy and if that makes him so let it be.
Im even afraid to speak my mind because of how he will take it and react.
Im really scared you know.and helpless too.we are goin to see his mom next week I don’ t know how I am gona approach her regardin this.:-(
thank you for your time for reading this I know it is very long
thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm sorry, T, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to see the point of this very very long exchange of messages. Your bf MUST take proper responsibility for himself. You can't do it for him.
And he needs to stop sitting round blaming himself for whatever happened in the past, and start taking responsibility for the present and the future, and avoiding making similar mistakes from now on.
His doctor should have the simple skill of recognizing that he appears depressed, and should stop giving him quantities of drugs he could use to harm himself. TELL the doc that he keeps on threatening suicide and has a family history of suicide, and to stop giving him meds he can use to harm himself.
Minf you, I don't understand a man who keeps threatening suicide, who refuses counselling, but wants to buy a needlessly expensive show-off car. You can guarantee that it will NOT make him happy. He sounds as though maybe his accusations that you are attention-seekin actually apply to him --- he sounds as though he may be revelling in his endless self-pity and making you alarmed.
What is happening between you is no good for either of you. See what his mother and family have to say, but seriously consider leaving him and saving yourself, and do NOT blame yourself for whatever he chooses to do about that

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-10-02

your bf has serious issues. Maybe the solution isnt just to pack up and leave, but take another approach. What ever happens, dont blame yourself.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Lady man | 2009-10-02

Hi

Find yourself another man. This one is bringing you down all the way. A man is not a man if he ask his lady to terminate. He should have take his responsibility like a a real man.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: Lukas | 2009-10-02

I would strongly suggest you find another man for you. Sounds like he lives in a world of self pity and wants it from you as well. Ask him to see a therapist to sort out his issues.

If he makes no effort to change then leave, there is someone out there who is right for you. This sounds like a toxic relationship.

Head over to askmehelpdesk relationships

Ask a few questions, explain everything. But you cannot go on with no sign of change.

Reply to Lukas

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