Posted by: Tired | 2009-09-11

Suicidal bf

i wrote here few days backk.
last night we were talkiing.he told me his father was staying whwere he was working so he only came home moonth end sometmes.and he gave his mother too little money to support them(3boys)he is the second.
so he told his mother to file a maitanance suite against his father because he was not willing to pay for his his mother did.
then the first day they went to court he came home then the next day they found him i understand why he blames himself so breaks my heart.
i dont know if his mother feels the same way about all this.(that my bf is the one to blame)he told me he deserve to be punished for what he did and he will spend his life paying for what he did.:-(iv ran out of words to say
i told my bf to call that councelling number.he said he is willing to go..and i told him it is not his fault that his father did what he did he should stop blaming himself for it.i mean he keeps going on about how he want to day we ae going to have a family of our own.whats gona happen when we have problems.i just feel he will end up kiling he should break this now and go for counselling,.he dont want our kids to be feeling the way he is now only because he didnt seek help.and i told him i am here for him.i dont know if anything i said made him feel better but i hope i helped.maybe you can help me with a few quotes i can send to him to make him feel better.i love this man.and i need to help not good at this,but am praying for us.
and i feel so mad at his dad.
that was so selfish of him.please peopple
suicide is never a solution to end up hurting the people you left in this world.people who dont deserve to be going through all this,he is too young and have a life to he is going throu this......

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Our expert says:
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I understand WHY he feels guilty, but it was his father's choice, after his father failed to support his wife and children. He never intended this to happen to his father. Absolutely right that he needs to see a counsellor NOW, and maybe a psychiatrist for extra treatment for his depression and maladaptive grief.
Tell him how much you love him, and want him to stay around so that you can raise children together. And remind him that just as his dad's CHOICE to commit suicide has caused so much misery to others, so would it if he made the same choice, while it would be of no possible benefit to his father to do so

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