Posted by: Help | 2009-08-11


I always have this hurting dreams about my boyfriend leaving me or hurting me in wake up crying.they feel so real.he told me not to worry about this things.thay are just dreams.his dad passed away in 2005.he commited suicide.he strangled himself.

Last week he woke up in the morning told me he had a dream that I was cheating with his flatmate.and later he died and I didn’ t care.i just laughed and said come on.your flatmate?that a an imposible dream.knowing what he thinks about I went and make breakfast for us when I got to the bedroom he was having a phone charger wrapped around his neck.with blankets covering him.i asked him what he was doing he said nothing.later he told me he was hurt by my response about his dream.he was expectin me to sayin I will never cheat on say something nice.his dream felt real.i told him what he said to me.he was very sad saying if I am the one person who don’ t care he don’ t see why he should be alive,could he be suicidal? L I am worried and sad.the first time he said he want to die he was crying badly saying he is very sad.weve been dating for a year.could this have anything to do with his dad?(suicidal thoughts passing on maybe?please help
Thank you

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Our expert says:
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Dreams do NOT predict the future, and many have essentially random content. Bu any theme that turns up repeatedly in your dreams may indicate something that is bothering and worrying you. And such things are worth exploring with a counsellor. However, this apparent suicide attempt by your bf sounds very strange, and a huge over-reation to a minor bad dream. Doesn't he remember the diference between dreams and reality ?
From the rest of what you say, it sounds as though he could be rather seriously depressed and potentially suicidal.
He needs to see a psychiatrist, or at least a GP, as soon as possible, for a proper assessment and probably treatment. Strongly encourage him to do this.
Its actually very difficult to kill oneself by self-strangulation ( as when you lose consciousness, you ten to let go of your throat ) but of course hanging can not only kill, but also has the serious danger of causing severe brain damage and leaving one alive with the results of that.
His father was probably seriously depressed when he committed suicide. And if family members have a history of having been significantly depressed, the risk of depression in him would have been higher, and if someone in the family has committed suicide, the risk of this happening to him is also higher. He clearly needs help, and urgently so. He can also call Lifeline ( number on this page ) in the meantime, but you need to remind him that you do love him and have no intention of either being unfaithful or of leaving him, and that you do care a lot, and this is why you want him to see a shrink for asessment and help, beause he could be feeling far happer and more confident than this, before long.

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