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Question
Posted by: Margot | 2012/07/18

Stupid excuse?

I was recently dumped by my boyfriend as he says that he feels threatened by me. He said that he cannot go out with a good-looking woman as he feels that another man will come along and break up our relationship. I have never heard such drivel in my life and cannot understand why he would break up with me and use such a stupid excuse. He maintains that there is no-one else. Seriously? According to him, he is not an attractive guy (bit of a belly and balding - he says he looks like Friar Tuckl!!!!) He has so many good qualities and I absolutely adore him, but he refuses to get back together again. I have not given him a reason to doubt my feelings for him and I have told him numerous times that looks are so not important to me and that I love him as he is.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Drivel, yes, but complimentary drivel ! And surely not stupid to him. What he said suggests that he has really low self-esteem, can't believe his luck in having such an attractive woman as his companion, and assumes that you'd surely prefer almost anyone else, to him. Unfortunately, by dumping him rather than handling the actual issue, you have probbly confirmed his fears, even if they were inaccurate to start with.
You could have tried to convince him that you "absolutely adore him" and rather prefer a Friar Tuck to an uncouth Tarzan.
So, I understand your frustration, but sadly, though you may be ready to move on, you may have left a wounded Tuck behind !

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/18

Drivel, yes, but complimentary drivel ! And surely not stupid to him. What he said suggests that he has really low self-esteem, can't believe his luck in having such an attractive woman as his companion, and assumes that you'd surely prefer almost anyone else, to him. Unfortunately, by dumping him rather than handling the actual issue, you have probbly confirmed his fears, even if they were inaccurate to start with.
You could have tried to convince him that you "absolutely adore him" and rather prefer a Friar Tuck to an uncouth Tarzan.
So, I understand your frustration, but sadly, though you may be ready to move on, you may have left a wounded Tuck behind !

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