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Question
Posted by: Maggie | 2010-08-12

Struggling to deal with reality

Hi there,

when I was young, I had all these dreams of what I wanted to do in life. I finished school 4 years ago and unfortunately life was a bit tougher than expected and I did not have a chance to set up my dream career. I then started working at a local shop and then moved onto an office job, where 3 years later I am still stuck doing the same thing I have been doing since I was 20. I got sick and tired of it after the first 6 months, and tried to juggle my dream job and my day job. Evenutally my boss told me I had to make the decision what I wanted to do, so I stuck with my job and was more secretive of my dreams. I have been trying since to launch into my dream career with no success (not due to time contraints or anything like that, I just can''t seem to find my dream). I hate my job so much. I am depressed and sometimes go and cry in the bathroom because I hate everything about my job. I can''t leave because I have no other real experience, I need the income (although it''s peanuts) and in all honesty, I don''t have the courage to leave. I know if I do go I''ll be leaving my company in a predicament because I run a whole division by myself and I''m the only one who does what I do, but I can''t help but feel so sad that I''ll never be able to achieve my dreams- I''m not even sure if I''ll even be able to find the courage to leave the company! How do I deal with this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I think a lot of modern social conditioning, like the Idols show, gives kids a very damaging and false idea, that ANYONE can have ANY dream they choose - and that you can start at the top. You don't learn to sing well ( and give up if you really don't have any voice or musical abilities ) they tell you - start as an Idol.
I will never be an Olympic athlete - I faced that fact long ago, and chose different dreams, which I worked towards and achieved.
So dreams are like beacons, they are what you work towards, maybe never fully arriving there, but getting nearer to.
Its hard for me to comment on how you might achieve your dream, as you don't reveal to us what that dream is.
Why do you focus on the idea that is is somehow essential for you to leave the company where you work, if you are ever to achieve your dreams ? Is it really impossible to do both ? One must earn enough money to support oneself, but that doesn't stop one from working towards dreams in one's spare time, maybe volunteering in charities or as unpaid assistants in a field that interests you, to gain enough experience to realistically see if there are opportunities for you to move to a paid post in that field.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: RICK | 2010-08-13

we choose our own destiny and are responsible for it entirely. YOU make the difference, YOU choose which path you are going to follow. Why not study part time and increase your value to the work place, put your dream career on hold while you attend to the basics...face reality....its a big step but no one is going to do this other than YOU.

Good luck, you have your whole life ahead of you ...CHIISE TO MAKE IT AWESOME.

Reply to RICK
Posted by: Maria | 2010-08-12

You''re only what, 22!!! You have your whole life ahead of you. You seem to have a lot of responsibility so surely you must have some skills that will help you find a different job, if not your dream job. Go for some counselling to help you deal with your feelings of inadequacy, read a book called " What colour is your parachute"  by Bolles, and stop thinking your life is over when it''s only just beginning.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-08-12

I think a lot of modern social conditioning, like the Idols show, gives kids a very damaging and false idea, that ANYONE can have ANY dream they choose - and that you can start at the top. You don't learn to sing well ( and give up if you really don't have any voice or musical abilities ) they tell you - start as an Idol.
I will never be an Olympic athlete - I faced that fact long ago, and chose different dreams, which I worked towards and achieved.
So dreams are like beacons, they are what you work towards, maybe never fully arriving there, but getting nearer to.
Its hard for me to comment on how you might achieve your dream, as you don't reveal to us what that dream is.
Why do you focus on the idea that is is somehow essential for you to leave the company where you work, if you are ever to achieve your dreams ? Is it really impossible to do both ? One must earn enough money to support oneself, but that doesn't stop one from working towards dreams in one's spare time, maybe volunteering in charities or as unpaid assistants in a field that interests you, to gain enough experience to realistically see if there are opportunities for you to move to a paid post in that field.

Reply to cybershrink

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