Our expert says:
Of course what your sister really needed, and should then ( as now ) have been encouraged to explore, was to become self-sufficient, rather than always needing or relying on someone else to protect her.
I'm puzzled, though, about why, if this OTHER man has proved unfaithful to this OTHER person ( your sister ) you should leap to the conclusion that your own hitherto excellent husband is now to be rejected and somehow punished for what he did not do ? Sounds like you over-identify with your sister.
Long-distance counselling isn't pratical by remote control, but you're surely right to seek proper direct in-person counselling as soon as it is practical. You can't quite explain to your husband what you don't understand yourself.
Is there really no way you can make a plan, maybe taking leave, to spend time in a city, maybe with family, where they can help you to arrange to see a counsellor fairly intensely for the duration of that leave ?
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