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Question
Posted by: HELEN | 2011/08/31

STRONG FEELINGS

Hi cyber, recently i have been communicating with one guy through internet, we do not each other but our feelings are so strong for each other. we just talk so much romantically on the phone i''m so nervous to see him for the first time, but he wants to see me. do u think such relationships happen to be succesfull coz we already declared our love to each other .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

How can you really be sure who he is, let alone whether you have strong, genuine feelings for who he actually is ? All you know, at best, is what each of you are pretending to be, on the web and on the phone. It can be largely or even entirely a game. How can you have "declared your love" for someone you really dont know and have never met ? Its like falling "in love" with a charater in a book. Such relationships are rarely sucessful, as they are so profoundly unrealistic. Beware that you may be either bitterly disappointed, or exploited ( there are many nasty guys who are predators, trawling the net to find naive and vulnerable young women to groom and prepare to do unpleasant things with them ). DOn't be upset at my mentioning it, but you sound very young, immature and inexperienced. Get to know people you actually meet in real life, and take your time to learn about human relationships, without being so eager and vulnerable

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2011/08/31

It sounds like you are reading into this " relationship"  too much,as you haven''t even met yet.
There is no harm meeting with the guy but do so at a coffee shop in a mall for example (a public place).
Take things slowly and see how things develop.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Sensible | 2011/08/31

Helen, I think Prof is right when he says that you might get exploited, or worse. You indeed sound young. Remember some of those you meet online have read your profile and know what you are looking for. So they will try to be the closest to your dream guy. Some internet stories have resulted in death. Please check " dangersofinternetdating"  website and read those stories. Be careful sweetie.

Reply to Sensible
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/31

How can you really be sure who he is, let alone whether you have strong, genuine feelings for who he actually is ? All you know, at best, is what each of you are pretending to be, on the web and on the phone. It can be largely or even entirely a game. How can you have "declared your love" for someone you really dont know and have never met ? Its like falling "in love" with a charater in a book. Such relationships are rarely sucessful, as they are so profoundly unrealistic. Beware that you may be either bitterly disappointed, or exploited ( there are many nasty guys who are predators, trawling the net to find naive and vulnerable young women to groom and prepare to do unpleasant things with them ). DOn't be upset at my mentioning it, but you sound very young, immature and inexperienced. Get to know people you actually meet in real life, and take your time to learn about human relationships, without being so eager and vulnerable

Reply to cybershrink

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