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Question
Posted by: Sad | 2011/01/17

Stressed husband

How do i cope?? My husband has started getting panick attacks and i think going into depression and lately he''s throwing up every morning. He''s started seeing a doctor and she told him it''s work reladed stress. The lady that worked with him had to go on pension and they are not appointing someone in her place. Sometimes things will go well for a whole week and then he''ll get that funny feeling and then it down hill all the way. I''m trying to be as supportive as i can, but it starting to get to me as well. If he just looks funny i start to worry, if he goes to lie down I start to worry, if he doesn''t want to eat i worry (which is alot lately). I''m so tired of being worried the whole time. I just want to sit and cry and cry and cry. Then i worry it will make things worse for him so i have to keep it in. I''m not used to him being like this how can i help, what must i do?? I want our normal life back!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Whatever this is could well be work-related, and he should be seen by a good psychiatrist, presumably covered by his Medical Aid, as well as for a proper physical check-up by the GP or a physician. He may be suffering from Depression and/or Anxiety Disorder, both of which respond well to proper treatment, which should ideally include CBT-style counselling / therapy as well as medication. If this is stress-related it is essential that he see such a CBT therapist / counsellor to identify the sources of the stress, and learn to remove them, tolerate them, and to cope better with stress.
A psyhciatrist's advice is important, rather than havin this handled only by a GP.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2011/01/17

Either his doctor is an idiot or he hasn''t conveyed quite how serious the problem is. CS is right, he needs counselling, a thorough physical checkup and an assessment by a psychiatrist.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: sad | 2011/01/17

hi, she told him if he starts to get this funny feeling to go and sit somewhere alone and take a couple of deep breaths untill the feeling passes, but i don''t think it''s working. we''ve started to go to the gym in the evenings, but i just don''t know. I''m not sure if he''ll talk to someone at work - you know pride and being stubborn. Not wanting to seem like he can''t cope even if he can''t.
He''s says his mind is just working all the time and then he get these funny ideas like I''m going to leave him so why not just get a divorce in any case. Things like that.....I''m so worried &  hurt. At least he''s seeing the doctor again this week, but i don''t know what to say or do anymore. Must i just keep a happy face and hope this passes?

Reply to sad
Posted by: Maria | 2011/01/17

Did the doctor not make any recommendations on how he must deal with the stress? It''s important that he should rest enough, eat well, get some exercise and socialise. Encourage him to go for a walk with you and to eat.

Has he told his manager / HR department that he cannot cope with the workload? Maybe they can distribute some of the extra work to other people?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/17

Whatever this is could well be work-related, and he should be seen by a good psychiatrist, presumably covered by his Medical Aid, as well as for a proper physical check-up by the GP or a physician. He may be suffering from Depression and/or Anxiety Disorder, both of which respond well to proper treatment, which should ideally include CBT-style counselling / therapy as well as medication. If this is stress-related it is essential that he see such a CBT therapist / counsellor to identify the sources of the stress, and learn to remove them, tolerate them, and to cope better with stress.
A psyhciatrist's advice is important, rather than havin this handled only by a GP.

Reply to cybershrink

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