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Question
Posted by: Kel | 2010/12/03

Stress/anxiety/depression

I am 30 year old single mother, to a 4 year old boy. for the last few months, but especially for the last 6 weeks or so, I have been having heart palpitations, also feeling nauseaus and a tight ball in my stomach/chest, where I have to force myself to take slow deep breaths as it feels like I cant breathe properly. I have been under a lot of stress lately.

I also feel like I can burst into tears at the drop of a hat, for absolutely any reason at all. I also dont have patience with my son who is also acting up. I am constantly exhausted and never seem to have enough rest no matter what time I get to bed. I am on the go all the time from the minute I open my eyes. Between work responsibility, parenting, housework, garden work, family issues etc I have gotten lost somewhere. I also feel very alone a lot of the time being a single parent. I feel like it is all too much and there is nobody to help me. I dont seem to be able to find even 5 min alone time, and the pressure of so many people relying on me is making me feel like I am going to crack.

Im scared I am going to lash out physically at my son one day in anger when he pushes me too far as I have been having thoughts like that lately, which horrifies me. Normally he is a sweet, well mannered &  good natured, easy child who has never needed to even get a hiding, but combined with my current emotional state he has become whiny and demanding.

This year has been very tough emotionally for me, as a lot has happened. I also was given extra responsibility at work this year to go with an increase that i desperately needed (I get no assistance from my childs father financially).

Is it possibly I should see someone about getting antidepressants, or is my anxiety probably just from the current stress?

please help.
thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, so you sound significantly anxious, and maybe depressed as well - both conditions which often go together and which respond really well to proper treatment. Your child is probably being a normal kid of his age, perhaps also disturbed by perceiving that his mom is not well.
Ideally see a good local psychiatrist, and at least a good GP, for assessment and a discussion of treatment options - maybe medication and ideally also counselling of the CBT format.
And go to the Maintenance COurt to get an order requiring your ex to may for the kid's maintenance you don't have to do it all on your own.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2010/12/05

Definately go and see a psychiatrist. I know this feeling too well had it for over 7 years and n it really hard to treat as i left it for too long not even knowing what this " thing"  i experienced was. I also have very high tolerance to medication which makes it even harder. I have clinical depression, anxiey and panic disorder for over a decade now and controlled it well until had a nervous breakdown and had to see someone..so far nothing is working..anxiey is a tricky thing...can be spontanous and it feels like u reving ur car but standing still..ur stomach wants to jump to ur throat, ur chest feels like something heavy sits on it...pls go and see someone asap so u dont end up like me who at this present is on a verge of suicide and hanging by da last thread hoping next try out medication will work. Alzam is a tranquiliser that has helped me with the anxiety a bit...i think there is currently shortage of it but there are others just under different name..look up alzam on wikipedia.com and it will give u names and u can discuss it with ur doc...all those disorders i blame on todays society and how everything revolves around money and everything being fast paced. Also lack of physical activity does it''s own thing to ur body...I don''t believe in gyms as human body wasnt designed for certain exercises. Natural walk ouside in fresh air...being more physical around the house. I know it sounds like too much for busy day one has at the office and after work is so mentally tired that the last thing u might think of is cleaning the house or vacuuming the carpets...ok enough from me..hope ur panic attacks go away (u also need rest if u stressed) good luck

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Single mom | 2010/12/04

Hi, i have had panic attacks in the past which i was told is a symptom of depression and anxiety. They get worse, you are obviously totally over stressed and sounds to me like you need anti depressants to start off with which will make you feel more able to stand back and assess and then cope again. While on anti-deps, the panic attacks stop, you need to see GP/Psych i think. You sound overloaded, know how you feel. Good Luck.

Reply to Single mom
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/04

OK, so you sound significantly anxious, and maybe depressed as well - both conditions which often go together and which respond really well to proper treatment. Your child is probably being a normal kid of his age, perhaps also disturbed by perceiving that his mom is not well.
Ideally see a good local psychiatrist, and at least a good GP, for assessment and a discussion of treatment options - maybe medication and ideally also counselling of the CBT format.
And go to the Maintenance COurt to get an order requiring your ex to may for the kid's maintenance you don't have to do it all on your own.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/04

OK, so you sound significantly anxious, and maybe depressed as well - both conditions which often go together and which respond really well to proper treatment. Your child is probably being a normal kid of his age, perhaps also disturbed by perceiving that his mom is not well.
Ideally see a good local psychiatrist, and at least a good GP, for assessment and a discussion of treatment options - maybe medication and ideally also counselling of the CBT format.
And go to the Maintenance COurt to get an order requiring your ex to may for the kid's maintenance you don't have to do it all on your own.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2010/12/03

I totally get your fear of hurting your boy, I''ve been there, my daughter have had bad hidings she didn''t deserve. I''m not proud of this. It is our job as parents to sort ourselves out for our children''s sake and our own. Don''t beat yourself up over things that are done, just be kind to yourself and take as much of a break as you possibly can.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Maria | 2010/12/03

Please do yourself and your son a favour and go and see at least your gp. You can be helped. You need to prioritise, something which is difficult to do when you''re so stressed and depressed. You have to make time for yourself, or you will end up unable to do anything for yourself or anybody else. Send your son on a playdate, say NO to people who want things from you that you don''t feel able to give, let the dust lie a little longer. Life is too short to run yourself ragged, you need to regard yourself as important right now.

Take care

Reply to Maria

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