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Question
Posted by: Mahadi | 2011/08/25

Stress Over Lobola

His family wants him to marry me his sister went as far as to say she will help him pay the lobola if needed. We are very happy together and I want him to marry me BUT he is not ready to get married as yet. Do you think he will ever be ready to marry me. When we are together we never talked about it. I dont want to push or rush him to something that he does not want. We have been dating for 12 months today.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand your worries, but of course I can't guess whether he will ever be ready to marry you. Without pushing him, you do need to discuss this calmly with him, as only he can tell you, if he will. If he has a reasonable basis for his hesitation, he will be able to explain why he doesnt yet want to get maried. Maybe he wants to be more financially secure, or something like that. But if he's hesitant to get married at all, you may want to reconsider whether he iwill be a suitable partner for you

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/25

I understand your worries, but of course I can't guess whether he will ever be ready to marry you. Without pushing him, you do need to discuss this calmly with him, as only he can tell you, if he will. If he has a reasonable basis for his hesitation, he will be able to explain why he doesnt yet want to get maried. Maybe he wants to be more financially secure, or something like that. But if he's hesitant to get married at all, you may want to reconsider whether he iwill be a suitable partner for you

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