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Question
Posted by: dissappointed | 2010/04/21

strange sex

please help me: my son is 5 months old, and since his birth our sex life is non existing. mostly on my part as my hormones are crazy. the thing that worries me is that when we do have sex, my husband hardly or never kisses me, he has never offered or tried oral sex, it''s more a quicky than making love. the sessions never lasts more than 10 min, and he will never cuddle afterwards. I feel used. he is also not interested in spicing things up with toys or dvd''s.
Please tell me how to address the situation?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Communication is very important in this case. As your hormones are adjusting and trying to normalize, remember that your husband also has to readjust to the idea of you transforming from wife to pregnant women to mother. each of these stages are associated with different psychological connotations. He may not know understand what your sexual needs are right now. he also has to undergo a role transformation from husband to father. you need to discuss this with him openly. let him know how you feel and express your want and need for love and affection.it is very common for couple's to go through some difficulty reestablishing their sex lives after the first pregnancy. if your' are unable to solve this, consider speaking to a couple's counsellor to assist yourl.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: margaret | 2010/04/21

i really understand u.my bf was very loving and kissing toooo many times.but last days he wants everything from me and never kisses me.i talk abt it and he said there is nothing wrong.but there is.he asked me for time.he often doesnt have mood.he has some problems with job and i thought it may be the reason.but then i found that when time comes he is really cinical.worried ppl dont behave like that ya? hey guys u think when guys make sure the girl loves them they stop careing?

Reply to margaret
Posted by: disspointed | 2010/04/21

same boat: looking forward hearing from you. what is your mail address?

Reply to disspointed
Posted by: Same Boat | 2010/04/21

Thanks Disspointed - i will mail you shortly

Reply to Same Boat
Posted by: disspointed | 2010/04/21

same boat: my mail address: liezleb at tecmed co za (i am otherwise not allowed to enter it into this system

Reply to disspointed
Posted by: Oldster | 2010/04/21

May I ask if you sex life was EVER that great.? If it was and now its not, this will have to be explored more deeply either between the two of you or with professional help. People only " change"  for a reason. From my own personal experience, if my wife should say I have " changed"  and now I no longer touch or cuddle or kiss or anything, she would be dead right. WHY ? you may well ask. Well I''ll tell you. SHE suddenly became all puritanical and holier than thou and when I broached the subject or tried to get things going, she would respond with, " That''s disgusting"  So now I console myself with DVD''s(great action) Porn Books,(Great illustrations) and masturbating and to hell with the rest. Granted I am older than you guys, but what I am saying is that there MUST be a reason and you are too young to take the route I have taken.

Reply to Oldster
Posted by: Same Boat | 2010/04/21

Sorry to that. I am 31 and she is 27. I did several times but now i dont even bother. Dissapointed do you perhaps have personal email?

Reply to Same Boat
Posted by: dissp | 2010/04/21

i dont know what I am going to do? my husband is the kind of man who switches off as soon as some kind of confrontation begins? how old are you guys? have you ever tried to raise the subject with her?

Reply to dissp
Posted by: Same Boat | 2010/04/21

I can relate to excatly what you saying. What are you planning to do? I assume that you have only one child. I dont understand how people can be so " selfish" .

Reply to Same Boat
Posted by: dissappointed | 2010/04/21

i am only 28 and my husband 31, have been married for 5 years! i cant see myself doing this for the next 30!

Reply to dissappointed
Posted by: Same Boat | 2010/04/21

How old are you guys? For how long are you guys married now?

Reply to Same Boat
Posted by: Same Boat | 2010/04/21

Hey Dissapointed, my women is excactly the same as your man. There is no kissing, fonding and touching at all. its also a wahm bam and its over. I know exctaly how it feels. Honeslty i am getting so frustrated i am even considering getting on the sideline.

Reply to Same Boat
Posted by: dissapointed | 2010/04/21

my son was delivered by c-section - so there was no scary stuff seen. he was like this long before i even fell pregnant. the oral sex doesnt bother me, the fact that he doesn''t kiss, or explore me ever that is the problem, it is a situation of wham bam then its over.

Reply to dissapointed
Posted by: boomsie | 2010/04/21

yes giving birth does scare a man, i mean he saw strange stuff coming out where he used to lick and play, but give it time, he will be ok later on.

Reply to boomsie

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