Our expert says:
I'm pleased that you have already tried to tell him and appreciate the fact that he is sensitive. I'm not sure how a DVD is going to help since he is not taking the feedback he is getting...what I would recommend is that you tell him that you want to learn more about what makes him tick and you would like him to learn about you in a more sensual way. Make sure you have plenty of time & privacy and no alcohol/drugs. Take it in turns with him lying and just allowing you to touch him (all over the body, not just genitals, and touch can be with the hands or the mouth) - tell him you want him to guide you and tell you what he likes, ask for feedback too. Try using a massage oil to make the touch more interesting. If you masturbate him a little, make sure you ask for feedback and respond accordingly, but before he reaches his orgasm, move away from his penis and move to other parts of his body (this can also teach him how to delay his orgasm - he needs to focus on the sensation and when it is very exciting, slow down the stimulation). He might be highly stimulated by all of this and it may be a good idea to stimulate him to orgasm at the end - either by hand or mouth - up to you. After this focus on him, it is your turn. He touches you (and not just your breasts/genitals) and you give him feedback...if he isn't getting what you mean, put his hand on top of yours, or yours on top of his, and SHOW him. If he is not asking for feedback, then give it to him - the fact that you have just taken feedback from him should be a good motivator for him to receive it from you. Do try to give constructive feedback (i.e. "I like it a little harder or softer" or "I preferred the last touch more, could you return to that one please?" rather than "that hurts", & "don't do it like that").
If you find this to be a success, make sure you give him PLENTY of positive feedback and maybe repeat the experience and remind him of it during future sexual encounters.
Claire - SASHA
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