Our expert says:
It is very important for any person's well-being that what they do supports what they believe. You say that it is a strong value and principle of yours that you remain a virgin until you marry and that pre-marital sex is not acceptable. It is really important that a partner respects your values. Should you compromise your values, purely because you do not want to lose a partner, and not because you have reviewed your values and have come to a different insight and choose of your own inner conviction to shift or change a value, you may experience alot of emotional anguish after the fact.
For long term relationships to work it found that a couple needs to have significant commonalities, of which commonalities in values are central. The fact that your boyfriend does not share your values and furthermore does not respect them is of great concern. The fact that you have "compromised" by accommodating him to have sex with his ex-girlfriend is of great concern.
I would suggest you consider seeing a counsellor/therapist who also specialises in sexuality for support and guidance in this.
With regards to pain when having penetrative sex for the first time each woman's experience is different. Yet if the first time is handled with care, the woman is well aroused and lubricated, for many it is more of a brief discomfort to a mild initial pain if her hymen is still attached. A partner needs be gentle in the beginning and sensitive to the woman's cues. It is in the more rare occassions that if a woman has a rather thickened hymen that she may initially experience more discomfort and/or pain.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.