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Question
Posted by: Bladey | 2009-05-26

Stick it out or move on

I' v known this man for only 2months and we bond like we' ve known each other forever - we act like girlfriend and boyfriend but its not official yet. We' re both grown, nearing our 30' s, we' ve both come out of long term relationships a couple of months ago and have been hurt by our exes - both of us are obviously not keen on throwing ourselves into a full-on serious relationship out of fear yet, because of how close we' ve become im feeling now like i need more from him.

He is still in contact with his ex whereas i have broken all contact with mine and i havent spoken in months - i prefer it that way. He knows and realizes how close we are, and he is well aware of the fact that i am becoming impatient with him now and what he wants. I am in the position to walk away obviously with my pride intact and with guys waiting in the wings, so i dont have issues not seeing someone new -am self sufficient, independant and confident, but i want him!

All of his friends refer to me as his girlfriend already cause we' re always together and if not they assume we will be and make plans +2 (thinking i' d join) and on weekends if i choose to make alternative plans as opposed to seeing him he' s upset by it -(like he assumes i should spend it with him or at least discuss my alternative plans with him)

Do i stick around and wait till his ready to commit to me?and if so? how long?? or do i walk away and let him be. I' m not sure if he' s ready for a relationship now - he' s very honest about he feels about me and what i mean to him -he adores me. I dont however want to force him into something he' s not ready for and get the idea he doesnt want to lose me but cant commit just yet.

What do i do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You'd be wise to be cautious about getting in too deep into a rebound relationship at this stage in recovery from the previous relationship. Isn't it more important to have a good friend right now, than a new lover ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-26

why are you in such a rush, you say you both been hurt by exes, so why rush into another relationship, just maybe he feels he needs more time and understandably, would you like to be in a relationship where the other person has lots of baggage, maybe he is trying to find closure first with his ex as you say they are still in contact.
What do you have to lose to wait abit longer, you single, you young and by the sounds of it you have many waiting in the wings for you. If you think he is worth it, just go with the flow, me personally I feel commitment becomes official after 3 months in your case I would wait 6 months and if he still doesn' t come to the party then part ways or just keep him as a friend, but for now just enjoy each others company without any expectations and see where it takes you.

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