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Question
Posted by: Stepmom | 2012/06/05

Stepson Lied - continues

How can i take him to anybody? I have tried over and over. I am not the parent so i cannot complete and sign off any documents and the father will not.

When he was 5 they said he is not school ready and i said let him live with us and i will get him ready (both gran parents are illiterate) nothing happened. When he nearly failed grade 1 and grade 2 i said it again - then Grade 1 he did fail and it was said " oh well its not the end of the world"  - he got a puma watch for xmas.

I have no say in this child''s life, no control, no rights, he was a baby when his mother left and the other two were 6 and 8 and my husband was without a wife for 2 years that''s why he was raised by the granny if you can call it that.

Each of his children and mine have a place and a time to do things this child is like a hooligan, its as if he goes out of his way to be mean to the dogs, to the maid etc.

He has this evil grin when he does something and its not seen but when the other child responds and that''s noticed and the father then fights with the other child - he gets so much pleasure from it.

Can children just be evil? Born evil? How can his gran parents have raised so many normal wonderful well behaved children and yet raise a gran child like this?

I cannot talk to the gran parents they hugely dislike me because of lies told by this child, the father will not stand up for me and tell the truth.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I think most or all of what I said earlier, still applies. The boy's behaviour is very understandable, and his feelings of hurt and anger are very understandable, with such a ridiculously neglectful father.
He still managed to raise the kids of 6 and 8 by himself, so could handle this one now, if he bothered to do so. Maybe, without realizing it, he somehow blames the child for that mother leaving ?
The child was not born evil - he has been trained to be bad, by neglectful circumstances created by a foolish father. Children are usually very logical. IF he feels neglected, he'll be angry and look for ways to express that anger and to get his own back. I womder whether your husband, directly or indirectly, communicates to the boy that his situation is YOUR fault, so the kid takes it out on you, and excuses the father ?
What do other readers think ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2012/06/06

This little boy needs help. He is acting out because of the way he is treated - not the other way around.

Speak to your husband and say you can''t stand by anymore.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Sandtonian | 2012/06/05

Perhaps you should have bought him a Rolex watch for christmas, decent rewards can modify a childs behaviour significantly.Children can be bought................

Reply to Sandtonian
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/05

I think most or all of what I said earlier, still applies. The boy's behaviour is very understandable, and his feelings of hurt and anger are very understandable, with such a ridiculously neglectful father.
He still managed to raise the kids of 6 and 8 by himself, so could handle this one now, if he bothered to do so. Maybe, without realizing it, he somehow blames the child for that mother leaving ?
The child was not born evil - he has been trained to be bad, by neglectful circumstances created by a foolish father. Children are usually very logical. IF he feels neglected, he'll be angry and look for ways to express that anger and to get his own back. I womder whether your husband, directly or indirectly, communicates to the boy that his situation is YOUR fault, so the kid takes it out on you, and excuses the father ?
What do other readers think ?

Reply to cybershrink

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