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Question
Posted by: Chrissy | 2011/05/23

Stepson from hell

i need urgent advice please. I was married to a man for 12 years, he has a son from a previous marriage. I have been on my own for the past 6 years, but my ex''s son is still visiting me now and then. this weekend the son (now 20) came to my house confessing to me that he is in love with me and that he cannot function anymore as the only thing he thinks of all day is me. Now my biggest problem is, back then when me and his dad were together his dad took some pictures of me in lingerie. On saturday his son told me that when we split up back then, he was going through my wardrobe and through my underwear, and he had found those pics, and he now fantasises about it, and cannot stop looking at them, i nearly had a heart attack and he refuses to give them back to me. I feel so angry as he betrayed my trust, went through my private things and stole something that was very intimate to me. He says the only way im getting those pics back is by marrying him. He needs help as i am nothing more than a mother to him and i think its sick that he feels this way. Knowing that he sits with the pics, not even to think what he''s doing with them, and knowing what he feels - i think has damaged our relationship beyond repair, i dont think i want to face him ever again...what can i do in getting my property back which he has stolen....please give me advise on what to do in this situation. If his father confronts him, who knows what he''s gonna try and do to me. He is with the wrong crowds, drinks excessively and i also think he is doing some kind of drug.....PLEASE HELP!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This sounds like an episode from one of the more lurid soap operas. The son should be advised to see a psychiarist or psychologist as soon as possible, to deal with his problems, and not to trouble you with them.
Remind him that going through your wardrobe and possessions was in itself a criminal act, and taking anything belonging to you was theft. If he refuses to give them ALL back to you, tell him you will report this to the police and open a case of theft against him, and possibly of blackmail, when he says you will only get them back by marrying the pipsqueak.
You should disuss this with his father, and warn both of them that any unpleasant response from either of them will also lead to criminal charges. You can go to court and get an interdict / restraining order, forbidding either of them from annoying you in any way, or from approaching you except indirectly to return your property.
Whether he's dabbling in drugs or alcohol, or bad friends, is irrelevant. What he has done and is doing to you is criminal and should be treated as such.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Chrissy | 2011/05/24

Thank you all, i will ask him to return it to me by friday, or else i will take it further.
Thank you.

Reply to Chrissy
Posted by: Liza | 2011/05/24

You can go to the police and lay a charge against him. Obviously you have to stop having him over for visits. Also get a restraining order since he doesn''t seem too stable and could become dangerous. His father also needs to know. Not maybe - DEFINITELY. Perhaps you can ask him to search his sons'' things and perhaps return the photos if he can find them BEFORE he talks to his son about his totally unacceptable behavior. That way his father doesn''t have to say that he heard from you, but that he found the pictures and that it is worrying to him.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Romany | 2011/05/24

I would involve the father without a doubt. And atthe same time get a restraining order againstthe on.
You were married to the father for some time and this is reallyhis problem as well.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/24

This sounds like an episode from one of the more lurid soap operas. The son should be advised to see a psychiarist or psychologist as soon as possible, to deal with his problems, and not to trouble you with them.
Remind him that going through your wardrobe and possessions was in itself a criminal act, and taking anything belonging to you was theft. If he refuses to give them ALL back to you, tell him you will report this to the police and open a case of theft against him, and possibly of blackmail, when he says you will only get them back by marrying the pipsqueak.
You should disuss this with his father, and warn both of them that any unpleasant response from either of them will also lead to criminal charges. You can go to court and get an interdict / restraining order, forbidding either of them from annoying you in any way, or from approaching you except indirectly to return your property.
Whether he's dabbling in drugs or alcohol, or bad friends, is irrelevant. What he has done and is doing to you is criminal and should be treated as such.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Truth | 2011/05/23

If they are not nudes but dressed pics tell him to f-off and never visit you again. Most of us have pics of us in swimming costumes out there which are hardly shocking or blackmail material.
If the shots are embarassing consult a lawyer.
Either way cut off all contact with him, do not involve the father as the son is of age.

Reply to Truth

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