Our expert says:
He needs to be told firmly that it is his kids who are being selfish and uncaring --- you are a wife, not a servant, and normal kids in normal families DO share chores and expenses, especially when they are as old as these kids. IF he says you should just tell them what to do, fine, have him go to them with you, and explain to them that he expects them to pull their weight, to do what you ask them to do, and to treat you with respect.
Its good to support one's children, but when a boy is lazy, refuses to study further to enable him to get a good job, and can't be bothered to even try to get the sort of job he IS already fit for, then he needs strong encouragement to start behaving like a man rather than as a child
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