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Question
Posted by: Angie | 2011/08/30

Step son

Hi Doc

My step son has going through something and i am not sure what it is. He is 10 years old and he has suddenly lost interest in everything. he is in a tough situation as his mother is the tyoe to bash the dad so the child told us because of what his mother said, he has trust issue.

He use to be great in school, grade 1 - grade 3 but this year its totally different, its like he is a different person. He use to care about his school work or whether he came first in class, now he doesnt even get one award and doesnt even care if he fails. He also lies a lot and he also blames everyone else for when he does something wrong.

We do not shout at him but we encourage him and praise when when he does do something good. His lack of interest in anything and bad attitude has gotten too far and both myself and his dad agree that it can no longer happen. We cannot change what his mother tells him. He also has friends that are older than him, like in grade 7 and he is only in grade 4.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Souinds understandable that he could have trust issues. But unless there has been a dramatic change in his life, at school, with his biomom, or in your home, the puzzle is why he is performing less well NOW, when he performed better before, while carrying a similar burden.
Has he any explanation for his changes ? You cant change what his mother does or says, but maybe you can usefully help him to understand what she's doign, and to find more museful ways to respond to that. And maybe a child psychologist would be a useful consultation, to help you understand him better and find more specific ways of handling the situation

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/31

Souinds understandable that he could have trust issues. But unless there has been a dramatic change in his life, at school, with his biomom, or in your home, the puzzle is why he is performing less well NOW, when he performed better before, while carrying a similar burden.
Has he any explanation for his changes ? You cant change what his mother does or says, but maybe you can usefully help him to understand what she's doign, and to find more museful ways to respond to that. And maybe a child psychologist would be a useful consultation, to help you understand him better and find more specific ways of handling the situation

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