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Question
Posted by: Tracey | 2010/02/24

Step mom from hell

Please, Please help me. I think I am losing my mind! I''m in my forties, remarried two years ago, just seen the last of my own children off to Varsity, am finally studying what I wanted to and am full time mom to my step daughter. My husband, her father, is away on business more than he is home BUT that issue is accepted and for now it is an arrangement that works for us. We have a good, open and communicative relationship.
My problem is my relationship with my step child.
Besides the usual ups and down associated with any child of 12, I could not ask for an easier step child. There were very big emotional and behavioural problems in the beginning, lying, stealing and tantrums but I honestly just loved her best I could and kept on building trust between us.
We have our moments when the vast differences in our personalities cause friction but they are quickly resolved.
I am just so frustrated and RESENTFUL and it is getting worse all the time! I don''t understand this because I was a really good mother to my biological children and we have a great relationship. Why am I such a b...h when it comes to my step child? When my own children come home I feel a lifting of my spirits and I feel happy but when this little one comes in, I just feel tight and angry. How did I become this horrible caricature of the wicked step mother???? Why???? I no longer feel happy and sometimes feel as though I cannot face the day. It''s getting more and more that I wish I could shut out this responsibility and hide in my room till whenever. We have full custody of my husbands child and I never can take a break as she has no contact with her own mother. I just want to run away and I hate myself for feeling like this. If she was my child, I would pray to God that He did not saddle her with a step mother like me!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOu seem to be saying that you find that though the child is actually pleasant and agreeable, you feel unreasonable anger and resentment towards her ? This would be best resolved in a few counselling sessions for you. It may be, for instance that you resent the situation as represented by the child, rather than her in herself - she is the child returned to keep you chained to the Mother role just when youj were about to be free of it as your own children moved omn in life.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Tracey | 2010/02/24

Thank you for that. It makes sense and I needed to hear that. I hate that I''ve allowed myself to become so mean.

Reply to Tracey
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/24

YOu seem to be saying that you find that though the child is actually pleasant and agreeable, you feel unreasonable anger and resentment towards her ? This would be best resolved in a few counselling sessions for you. It may be, for instance that you resent the situation as represented by the child, rather than her in herself - she is the child returned to keep you chained to the Mother role just when youj were about to be free of it as your own children moved omn in life.

Reply to cybershrink

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