Posted by: Didi | 2009-03-03

Step kids

We are now staying with my step kids 22years old (boy) and the other one is 19 years (girl), they have an attitude towards me, they are stubborn they don' t want to do anything like helping with house chores even washing dishes.They manipulate their father and he is taking their side.

The boy he is not in good term with the mother no contact for more than 2 years cause he is so disrepectful. I ended up not asking them to do anything cause one day when i tried to talk with them i mentioned to them that is important that we work together since well we stay together, i said i know " i' m not your mom"  let' s respect each other for peace sake.
When their daddy returned from work they told them i hurt them by saying " i know i' m not your mommy"  not explaining to him why did i mention that.

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Our expert says:
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Are they staying with you, in your home, or are you staying with them, in their home ? If it is your home, you set the rules, and they abide by them or get their own place. And it is entirely reasonable for you to expect these young adults to contribute to the costs of running the home, and to help with the chores. I'm puzzled that you don't sem to have succeeded in discussing this usefully with your husband --- maybe a marriage counsellor could help ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: didi | 2009-03-03

They are staying in my home, my hubby refuses to go to a marriage counsellor i tried even a psychiatric he is not willing, he says i should try to teach myself to live with his children.He says i' m selfish and i cant expect his kids to do chores like i do and says i should tell them what to do,when i ask them they are reluctant.

He told me that the boy will stay with us until he finds a job of which i can see that it won' t happen now as he does not have qualifications and refuses to study further

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