Posted by: Nobantu | 2009-04-14

Step daughters

I am staying with 2 girls with my husband to be and my 7months old son 1 girl came with the husband and the other one is his brothers daughter who died a long time ago.

I have a problem with them they take me like I am their nanny they are both 13 years old they cant wash dishes nor even clean the floor I have decided to take them to their aunt for discipline, and are back I dont know how they will react their father spoils them he always says they are kids and now I have a problem with them, last Saturday while I was opening windows in their bedroom on top of the bed I found a love letter and showed it to their father he just laughed and said that they are just kids and I talk too much I am very worried about this and told him that this is going to cause a problem because whenever I talk they dont listen they just listen to their father what I have realised is that what they say is that I am not their mother and the other thing that I have realised is they take it from their father because whenever we are together he will call me bad names like " hi you granny and they will all laugh"  the other day when he did that I just looked at him and said " are you reminded of your girlfriend"  the mother to the daughter he just became furious.

Please assist because I see that this is causing problems what do I do.

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Our expert says:
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Discuss this with your bf, and agree on a joint plan to discuss TOGETHER with the kids --- and of course, at their age, they should share the chores of the home, and not treat you like a live-in servant. Maybe their father feels guilty in some way, and spoils them to make up for it. Kids who don't learn responsibility become miserable adults. NOT giving kids a set of basic rules and discipline, is abuse, not spoiling. And for him to call you bad names in front of them, and get them to laught at you is extremely bad manners. Maybe Auntie should be disciplining him ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: P | 2009-04-14

hi, first of all ,taking a letter from their bedroom was not right its their privacy & i understand ur concern bt its jus a letter & most especially in that age group its slightly harmful.So 2 ur hubby raise it as a concern not showing letters to him u will look stupid and so in this case stay away from their staff as long as u told him and did nothing abt it jus let go, as for ur hubby to be,he' s mistreatin you,taking u for granted and that has misled the kids to do the same too,if he cant speak to them abt this they will never take u seriously for as long as u in this marriage, begins at home and they r not related u as far as they see it...i wanna know where' s the mother of his daughter?...this is unacceptable sooner or later you gonna be the mother of these kids...and he' s the only one that can control this behaviour...if not my dear u need to go for councilling or see through this relationship honey...cos u have that lil one that needs to see your smile everyday along with the siblings that your boy will learn from and look up to...good luck

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