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Question
Posted by: wilson | 2012/04/24

Staying in my Marriage worth it or not

Dont know how to start , but here goes, my husband is currently not working , I just started a job in Feb after being unemployed for almost 2 years , the problem is he finds fault with everything where he is working or he just leaves his job , I''m at point now whereby if we must get a divorce so be it , but there is always a question is this the righ thing to do , being married for 6 years we lost everything we had , a house then a now our townhouse ,we dont have a reliable car , ours was stolen , so far we are staying in a small cottage we have two kids , everything seems so dark right now , will it ever change or am I blind.
He is not working at the moment , all he mostly does is hang with friends , drink , I dont think he is really looking for a job.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

These are tough times for getting and keeping jobs, but wise people realize that its also a reallu bad time to be over-fussy. To leave a job without another lined up to go to, is usually foolish. To excessively find fault, especially in an offensive and combative manner, rather than trying to solve recognized problems, is also a recipe for worklessness. And a guy who is drinking ) how can he afford alcohol ? ) is NOT looking for a job.
Maybe he has got severely discouraged and has given up, but he ought to recognize the needs of his wife and children, and put them higher among his priorities than feeling sorry for himself.
You may need to consider giving him an ultimatum, for the sake of yourself and the children - to shape up, and get a job - ANY job, top start with - and work and help to get things better, or to move out on his own and face a divorce. Encourage him to seek help and counselling from whatever source is accessable, but don't indulge in his apparent current plans to sit and wait for something marvellous to come knocking at the door. The needs of the children should be paramount.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/24

These are tough times for getting and keeping jobs, but wise people realize that its also a reallu bad time to be over-fussy. To leave a job without another lined up to go to, is usually foolish. To excessively find fault, especially in an offensive and combative manner, rather than trying to solve recognized problems, is also a recipe for worklessness. And a guy who is drinking ) how can he afford alcohol ? ) is NOT looking for a job.
Maybe he has got severely discouraged and has given up, but he ought to recognize the needs of his wife and children, and put them higher among his priorities than feeling sorry for himself.
You may need to consider giving him an ultimatum, for the sake of yourself and the children - to shape up, and get a job - ANY job, top start with - and work and help to get things better, or to move out on his own and face a divorce. Encourage him to seek help and counselling from whatever source is accessable, but don't indulge in his apparent current plans to sit and wait for something marvellous to come knocking at the door. The needs of the children should be paramount.

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