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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2012/05/01

Staying

Hi I broke it off with my ex because I felt that she did not love me as there was always excuses for closeness and affection?Her work also is everything and I always came second to that and acted with hatered towards that as there was just no way I could earn the place of importance in her life.We fought constantly and I tried everything but could just not compete so I decided to break it off.We are still living together and are very close and all aspects of our previous relationship is still there except the sexual part.We still fight but resolve the matters more easily than before.She is still very inquisitive when I go out and wants to know what I did and with who.She also suggest that when we move out we should remain friends and live close to each other.She also shares everything with me which is very confusing as we broke it off because of all the fighting yet we are still a " couple" .Personally I think she still loves me and noticed that she is going to lose a lot but is afraid to admit it to herself.What to do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

One person cannot make or mend a relationship - it does take two. But if you are still living togetherm and continuing, apparently, everything from the past except for the sex, that's a new and odd form of relationship, but its very far from over, and its very far from broken off.
What actually b roke off ? Of course it's confusing. The French have a saying :A door should be either open or shut" and yours is mernanently ajar. Either end it problerly though amicably, or see a couples counsellor to work out what on earth is happening.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Confused | 2012/05/01

We did decide to end it mutually but there is still the uncertanty and feelings.Believe me if I had my way I would ask her to move out immediately but she cannot afford to move out now finacially and then there is off course the comfort zone.I also told her I wanna find a partner who respects me and treasure me as her partner so she knows .I also told her I do not want to be friends once we date as I do not wanna see her with someone else but she insist we stay close friends since we have mutual friends eventhough they were my friends first.I know I should not care and move on but we have a long history?

Reply to Confused
Posted by: yanga | 2012/05/01

hi i think you two need to talk and be clear of what you want and dont want ask yourself do u just wonna be friends? or are you going to just try again if u continue like this 1 of you would be hurt believe me because you gonna start seeing other ppl in this direction ur going to

Reply to yanga
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/01

One person cannot make or mend a relationship - it does take two. But if you are still living togetherm and continuing, apparently, everything from the past except for the sex, that's a new and odd form of relationship, but its very far from over, and its very far from broken off.
What actually b roke off ? Of course it's confusing. The French have a saying :A door should be either open or shut" and yours is mernanently ajar. Either end it problerly though amicably, or see a couples counsellor to work out what on earth is happening.

Reply to cybershrink

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