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Question
Posted by: Belinda | 2009/12/19

stay or go?

Id like to ask something that may Sound silly but Seems to be stuck in my mind.
in a relationship, Where a Couple fight alot and really treat each other With disrespect by means of rottn atitudes and things they say, how does one Know to stay or go?
I mean, No one Cheats or smacks or gets violent, Just Yell insult and be mean.
You have never felt butterflies for this Person and have learnt to love your Partner.
When do You decide its enough trying and enough understanding and enough remaining calm and focus on not strangling Your Partner ? I Know not all relationsnips are smooth sailing but I dont Know when to give up or move on or Just stay and live life like this ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Belinda,
Aren't you actually decribing psycvhological abuse and violence, and a pairing hat doesn't sound as though it really brings any joy to anyone ? By staying, what would you actually be saving or promoting ? By leaving, what would you lose ?
Anyway merely staying, for more of the same, doesn't help anyone ; the only point in staying in a troubled relationship is if you both get sincerely involved in couples counselling to have some chance of actually improving the situation. Just hoping isn't enough

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Rick | 2009/12/21

In my experience, having been married and divorced and now engaged. Respect is a key aspect of any relationship, be it with your family, friends or your partner.

If you dont respect them, you cant like them, nor can love grow (if there ever was love in the first place)

Respect is earned, and respect is lost, therefore to me, it is a work in progress. Im always observing how I am respected (or not) and what I can do about building it and then maintaining it.

I dont believe that any relationship can flourish in an environment of disrespect. I lost respect for me ex a few years before we divorced, and it was downhill from there.

Dont delay the inevitable if you truly have no respect for each other, end it now and save some time for yourself.

Regards
Rick

Reply to Rick
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/12/21

Hi Belinda,
Aren't you actually decribing psycvhological abuse and violence, and a pairing hat doesn't sound as though it really brings any joy to anyone ? By staying, what would you actually be saving or promoting ? By leaving, what would you lose ?
Anyway merely staying, for more of the same, doesn't help anyone ; the only point in staying in a troubled relationship is if you both get sincerely involved in couples counselling to have some chance of actually improving the situation. Just hoping isn't enough

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: kelly | 2009/12/20

wow this is so weird cos im in exactly the same situation.i decided 2 stay(we just had anotha fyt-we argue almost everyday).the thing is feeling butterflies 4 sum1is great but not important in sustaining a long term relationship.u hav 2 figure out wat u guys fyt about cos sumtyms its over nothing.my bf and i fyt alot bt da fyts r avoidable if we' d just communicate better bt its easier said thn done.anotha thing,do u love this person n do u want them in your lyf 4 a long term period?if sum1 els came along would u find it easy 2 leave ths relationshp?my advice... look within yourself cos u already kno wat to do u jus feel lyk u need some1 els 2 confirm wat u already kno.

Reply to kelly

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