Posted by: Tumi | 2009-04-16

Stacked with him

I am struggling to decide which way is the best for me, my husband past away more than a year now, and I have a 9 year old daughter that I live with. My hubby never gave me any love, respect and care in our 3 yr marriage. I had met a man 7 months ago and he treated well me with care, love and he shown me how special I am. We good friends and in love, my big problem is he has now lost his job and its been two months. I haven' t introduced him to my family and I am now thinking about the cost of living and can' t think of keeping him, he is not really educated and I earn far more than him. All the other man never shows interest in me and I now feel for this man badly. I tried more than three times to quit but I keep going to him.

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Our expert says:
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Hi Tumi,
I think Colleen makes good sense. Its unfortunate that he has lost his job, and that is something HE needs to remedy, and which you cannot solve for him ; nor, as a young widow with a child to support, can you afford to support him too. Wouldn't it be wise to seek to stabilize life for yourself and your child for some time before seeking to enter another close relationship ? After the long drought of the marriage, it's understandable that you really want and appreciate some affection, but how about keping this guy as a friend, rather than a lover ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: jj | 2009-04-16

If I were you I' d run a mile. there are men out there who want to depend on women and control their lives. they will show you love in the time goes, true colours will emerge. speaking from experience. if a man does not have the ambition to do anything real with his life, run before it' s too late

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Posted by: JJ | 2009-04-16

Hey Tumi be very careful here, when my husband was late I met a man that treated me like a queen, I had a better job and bought a house, I later found he was only into my money and a free home, thinking that my husband had left me millions, suddenly he had no more work sat at home I had a well paying job and supported him, once he found there was really no money he soon started cheating and beating me up, until I threw him out my home.So be very careful you will be surprised how some men can pretend that they care for one, money being the root of all evil, once they can' t get what they want they show their true colours, you have little ones put their happiness first, it' s ugly when the step father starts beating them up and you can' t get rid of him. Think and think wisely, these wolves come in sheeps clothing, blessings.

Reply to JJ
Posted by: Colleen | 2009-04-16

Hello Tumi, I think its great that you have found a man who loves and respects you. Why are you worried, just because you have this new man in your life does not mean you have to support him financially in any way whatsoever. The fact that he does not have a job is not your problem. Keep dating him and if you wish, introduce him to your family. You simply do not need to support him. good luck

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