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Question
Posted by: fearfull | 2010/02/02

spousal maintenance

been married 27 years, together 31 ! Husband having an affair with secatary, wants a divorce I DONT ! Ive only worked part time intermittantly and we have a good standard of living. Have had a breakdown and am terrified of the future. Will i be able to sue for 1) adultry 2) claim spousal support 3) 3rd party alienation of affection and emotional trauma.4) can I refuse to divorce him. Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageFamily law expert

Dear Fearfull,
On the facts that you provided I am sure that you will be able to succesfully claim spousal maintenance. The court may consider the following factors before making a spousal maintenance order:

- the means of each of the spouses;

- their earning capacities, financial needs and obligations;

- age of spouse;

- duration of the marriage;

- the standard of living to which the spouse is accustomed;

- their conduct regarding the breakdown of the marriage;

- other relevant factors.

Bertus Preller
www.divorceattorney.co.za
bertus@divorceattorney.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: fearfull | 2010/02/05

What if the marriage is not irretrevable and councilling may be benificial ? Does the court ever consider this ? Why would the courts grant a divorce when it can be avoided ?

Reply to fearfull
Posted by: Bertus | 2010/02/04

You will be able to claim damages from the third party. One factor that the court would look at in determining whether you will be successful in a claim against a third party would be the question when the affair started. For example, did it happen while the parties were still living together? or after the marriage had already broken down irretrievably? If for example the affair happened years ago, it may not be seen to be of relevance anymore. It is important that the parties have been married for a long time to be successful in such a claim, and that you are able to prove sexual relations. What will assist in your case is if you have evidence such as photographs, sms, social networking evidence, messages etc. in order to substantiate your claim.

With regard to your question about the fact whether you can oppose the decision to divorce, the answer is no. You may be able to stall proceedings, but ultimately the Court will pronounce on the decree of divorce.

Bertus Preller
Family Law Expert

Reply to Bertus
Posted by: fearful | 2010/02/03

I am sorry I know the pain you are going through. It is devastating. I am really fearful but Im sure he cant get away with just abandoning me financially at this stage of my life. There must be some law that protects women in our situation. I also feel very strongly that the other woman should not be allowed to get away scott free. She is 50% to blame.

Reply to fearful
Posted by: CA | 2010/02/03

Dear Fearful
I am in the same situation. After 21 years of marriage my husband leaves me for another women. I am also in financial dire straits. Haven' t paid the rent for Feb. Applied to the company for an advance on salary. He won' t pay maintenance.
I don' t know who to turn to.

Reply to CA
Posted by: fearfull | 2010/02/02

thank you for that. What about refusing the divorce and would I be able to sue her ? Not for any other reason than I feel that they ( and definatly she ) has shown absolutly no regard for my or my familys feelings and I dont think women should be able to just get away with this type of behaviour on principal.

Reply to fearfull
Posted by: Family law expert | 2010/02/02

Dear Fearfull,
On the facts that you provided I am sure that you will be able to succesfully claim spousal maintenance. The court may consider the following factors before making a spousal maintenance order:

- the means of each of the spouses;

- their earning capacities, financial needs and obligations;

- age of spouse;

- duration of the marriage;

- the standard of living to which the spouse is accustomed;

- their conduct regarding the breakdown of the marriage;

- other relevant factors.

Bertus Preller
www.divorceattorney.co.za
bertus@divorceattorney.co.za

Reply to Family law expert

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