Our expert says:
It is usually wise to agree to sincerely take part in counselling, and postpone a decision about final separation / divorce until you see how that works for you all. If he truly has "demons" from his past, he may need individual counselling, too, to get rid of their ill-effects, and that should be possible.
Individual episodes of physical violence do occur, and do NOT inevitably lead to continued violence. A single episode, if properly dealt with, may lead to a resolution of relevant issues. Wjhatever his reasons for being overly possessive ( one should never expect to nor want to "possess" another human being ) he need to deal with it in counselling, and recognize it as a weakness of his, not as a reflection of something wrong about you
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