Posted by: Two minded | 2009-08-26

Spite ex boyfriend

To cut a long story short. I was with my ex for 5 years, had a child by him, I broke up with him 10 months ago as he was emotionally abusive, a druggy and just an all round no good dead beat. We stayed together and when I left I took minumal items with me and left my lounge suite, fridge, stove, washing machine for him to use until he made other arrangements. This break up was not civil and he constantly sends me disgusting sms' s defiling my name etc etc.. I have heard that he is moving abroad and wants to sell my things that I worked so hard for and not give them back. When I asked him about it. He wants my son for a few hours each day in return for my stuff back . He does not pay child support. I will never let him have my son or even see my son as he is completely incompetant as a father and is untrustworthy and erratic. He has not contributed in any way financially towards my son, has not paid maintainence and always pleads poverty ( which is not the case as he does private work, has 2 cars - one of which i paid for up until the split and a boat, paying rental of R4000.00 per month for the house) Whtat can I do to get my stuff back. Have I left it too long because now, according to him, the stuff is his and I will not get it. This is not fair. I want justice..what can I do? HOw do you deal with a crazy person like this? Should I just let by gones be?

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Our expert says:
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This is basically a legal question, and you should consult a lawyer. If money is tight, check a possible free law clinic at your neaest law school. It hardly seems fair that he would claim rights to sell your stuff, but you might be seen in law to have relinquished some of those rights by leaving the furniture with him. ( Do you have your receipts or bank records to show that you bought them ? )
I am sure he is not entitled to blackmail you to force you to give him access to your son. What happened about the child, in the break-up ? as that also just decided between you ? A court may need to decide about your having full legal custody, and whether the father has visiting rights. And the court is supposed to decide on the basis of what is best for the child. The court can also decide that he must pay maintenance for the child's benefit.
Consult a lawyer to be certain of your rights, and then decide strategically what would be worth fighting for, and what would be worth conceding ( no point in spending thousands to go to court to recover furniture worth less than the lehal costs, for instance ).

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