Posted by: Cat | 2009-05-20

Spirit died

Hi me agian remember I wrote you looooooong time ago that I might lose my baby in a high court battle.. well it dit happen.. its been hard .. back on my medication.. but I can not seem to get myself back if you know what I mean I did counceling EAP .. still

My husband mentioned that my spirit died it hurt me at firts because I really do try to " live a normal life after everything"  but I know it is the truth a part of me died .. I have visitation rights but I can not see my child it would end in a murder case so I walked away.. hoping when he is big we can sit and rebuild our relationship without his father controlling it. It feels like my world is off balance like I can not get it back on track .. does a person ever recover fully and how do you get your " spirit alive again"  .. I just do things because it is expected of me .. I have another child who needs me but my other part of me is dead ...

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Our expert says:
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Hi, Sory to hear of all this. Having in the last year suffered a grievous loss myself, I can imagine what you are experiencing. All varieties of grief are difficult. When the one you love dies, part of the pain is that you will never see them again, that all those conversations are forever ended ; when the person is lost but alive, it's a different variety of pain, to know that they are alive but inaccessable to you. At least you can look forward to possible meetings with him in the future. And with that, isn't one o your duties now to sort out the rest of your life, and be prepared to be well, stable and able to make that meeting, in time to come ? And you have the other child, who needs your love and not only basic care, and its not that child's fault that you have lost the other one.
Skilled counselling should help, but preferably of the CBT format which can be more realistic and practical

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Cat | 2009-05-20

CS sorry to hear about your loss I can sense from your post you can feel my distress if I can call it that.. What you say is correct and that is what I said when I had to leave him for now.. we only human .. I think doing what we can on a day to day is what gets us through ..I love my other baby he is my strenght and gives me my reason to continue.. Its just the one part that just dont want to " come to the party"  within myself.. they say losing a person through death and losing the person alive is just as hard the grieving part.. I guess I am still in one of the stages.. Thanks for your ear.. good luck for yourself..

Reply to Cat
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-20

the answer is hope.

next question...

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