Our expert says:
Your concerns are valid about another person's sexual history/risk of sti's, but I'm also wondering if this is even something YOU want to do. If it is okay with you, then I suppose one would use the same strategies with a new partner as usual (condoms, dental dams, etc). However, if it's not okay, then perhaps you should let him know that your fantasy is just that, a fantasy and something you don't want to act out...I wonder what would it mean to him not to be able to do this in reality? Would it make a significant difference to him, or has he just let it run away with him a little? I think that you need to be true to yourself and if you are not okay with this, then don't do it. If you would like to explore, then fine; just keep yourselves safe. Also, if you go ahead with it, establish 'rules' about what is/isn't okay for both of you in that scenario so that you don't have any nasty surprises (e.g. is it okay hor him to have sex with her, or just you two, can he kiss her or just you, etc.
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