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Question
Posted by: Annon | 2012/08/03

speechless

I have been married for 8 yrs. A year ago my husband changed for the worst, he cheated, got the woman pregnant, became a complete idiot. I gave up my friends  put him and his interests 1st before our family, he went to gym and socialised while I become a full time parent to our kids. I allowed him to do all of these because I believe he worked very hard for us and deserved a break and time out. I got a big F you for my effort. On the other hand my friend whom I thought was the most unreasonable and plain selfish woman in this face of the planet''s relationship with her husband is much better and happier. She doesn''t lift a finger to make life easier for her husband and kids, she doesn’ t mind leaving her house dirty for weeks, she shouts and reprimands him in front of us and her husband rewards her by cooking and looking after the kids when she goes out and he hired a maid to make her life easier, but yet those of us who are considerate to our husbands get nothing but complete disrespect. Do men respect and become more considerate to your needs and wellbeing if you are rude and treat them like crap.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Idiot ? yes, probably an accurate diagnosis. Even if he actually worked very hard to benefit you and his children, he did not deserve THAT sort of break or time out.
But don't draw the wrong conclusions from your experiences and those of the other couple you mention. You're a good woman stuck with a selfish and foolish man ; in their case, there's a good man stuck with a selfish and unpleasant woman.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2012/08/06

When people want something, they place a certain value on it. This value depends on how easily it is to get what they want. If it''s easy to get what you want, you don''t place a very high value on it. If it''s difficult to get what you want, you place a much higher value on it. People don''t appreciate things if it''s easy to get. They appreciate things a lot more if it''s harder to get.

This is why men don''t appreciate women who do everything for them without complaint and why women don''t appreciate men who do everything for them either.

My ex-husband treated me like a doormat because I did everything without complaint. Today he''s remarried and his new wife hardly lifts a finger around the house... (Not that she''s a bad person, she''s just terrible at housework/cooking etc)

If you give a child an Ipad, they''d like it, but they won''t place such a high value on it. Make that same child do chores to earn money and then have him/her pay for that Ipad themselves and they''ll place a much higher value on it and are much more likely to look after it.

It''s just basic human psychology.
My 2c
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Peggy | 2012/08/03

My ex-boyfriend was a reall a$$hole, but I adored him! My current boyfriend is a really good guy and treats me well, but I get irritated with him and his nice ways sometimes - there must be some kind of syndrome we as women suffer from, we oftentimes seem to be more attracted to the nasties than the good guys! However no woman deserves the treatment you got from your husband - what he did was very wrong! I agree with you Annon when we are nice, we get treated like sh*t, but if we are bitches they worship us - like WTF is that??

Reply to Peggy
Posted by: Gabriel | 2012/08/03

This is a very common thing - nice guy married or dating a b!tch and nice women married to an as$hole/pig. Why we attracted to the opposite is still a big mistery to me. What''s even more of a puzzle to me is why women stay in those abusive relationships??? Money/sex/low self esteem??

Reply to Gabriel
Posted by: Romany | 2012/08/03

Read the book " Why Men Love B!tches" by Sherry Argov

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/03

Idiot ? yes, probably an accurate diagnosis. Even if he actually worked very hard to benefit you and his children, he did not deserve THAT sort of break or time out.
But don't draw the wrong conclusions from your experiences and those of the other couple you mention. You're a good woman stuck with a selfish and foolish man ; in their case, there's a good man stuck with a selfish and unpleasant woman.

Reply to cybershrink

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