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Question
Posted by: pixie | 2012-05-02

special kids

i please need your advice. i am divorced and is now seeing a man for eight months, he is a wonderfull person and treats me well, the only problem we have i my two boys which are both mentally handicapped. he is stuggeling to adjust to them, he has made progress but it is slow. I am afriad that we will never come to terms with them and then it will be the end of us. He tells my that i shoudnt push things. I have now put my kids in the schools hostel so that i can get a better life as well and that we can have some time together. I take my kids into the public but he feels they should be kept institutionalised, i dont know what is the right thing to do.?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some people find it much easier than others, to adjust to and learn to love, handicapped or disabled people.The children absolutely must come first in the decisions you make. That he feels, apparently strongly, that they should be kept in an institution and denied a more normal everyday life, is ominous and unfortunate. You don't mention the children's ages, either chronologically or mentally, or how they feel about him or their changed circumstances. Are they happy in the hostel ? How much time are they now able to spend with you ? Don't sacrficie them for a man, however nice he otherwise seems.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012-05-02

You children''s well being comes first.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-05-02

Some people find it much easier than others, to adjust to and learn to love, handicapped or disabled people.The children absolutely must come first in the decisions you make. That he feels, apparently strongly, that they should be kept in an institution and denied a more normal everyday life, is ominous and unfortunate. You don't mention the children's ages, either chronologically or mentally, or how they feel about him or their changed circumstances. Are they happy in the hostel ? How much time are they now able to spend with you ? Don't sacrficie them for a man, however nice he otherwise seems.

Reply to cybershrink

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