Our expert says:
Trust issues are common, and arise for a variety of reasons --- and they can be dealt with by therapy, especially Cognit-ve-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT ). By the way, the meaning of this term is that it is Therapy, which is both Cognitive ( working with your cognitions, thoughts, assumptions, etc ) and Behavioural ( dealing with your behaviours ). It would incude gaining the skill of assessing situations more accurately and drawing useful and likely conclusions, getting things into better proportion. You seem to be describing quite clearly how the problem truly is not whatever he does, but what you make of it, what you construct on top of those actions.
You may need to understand better where this large reservoir of anger comes from, and how to drain it without spilling it onto him ( because he's closest, rather than because he deserves the anger ).
It's not our past that shapes us, so much as the assumptions and rules we draw from the past and choose to carry with us.
And, as you recognize, the risk is both that you might lose someone you actually do love and who actually does love you, but that your suspicions and angers couldeventually create the situations you fear, rather than being caused by them.
And as said, apart from individual counselling to work with the problems that seem to be generated from within you
( which would be carried on, to disturb any other relationshiops in your life ) couples counselling would help to find a better way of working together on such issues as arise
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