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Question
Posted by: Jules | 2010-12-07

Sooooo angry

found out my brother is HIV+ in September, cos of his stupidity in not taking his medication he now has Aids, TB and Meningitis which has him incontinent and laying in bed unable to help himself. All the time since finding about of his condition i was cool and nw reality has sunk in and i am totally pissed at him for being stupid and for putting his family at risk etc. I actually feel that he should just die and get it over and done with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Some people might no understand, but your reaction is entirely normal and much more reasonable than many people would like to recognize.
Its normal that people find, amongst their sadness, anger at a loved one who develops a fatal illness through absolutely no fault of theirs. But where the illness is the result of many acts of deliberate stupidity ( he could have taken precautions, and then could have taken his meds ) its hard to feel sorry for someone's self-inflicted illness.
Many people who behave as foolishly and self-destructively as he has done, are indeed well-educated, which is one of the many reasons why I regrt the millions of rands and dollars spent on "AIDS education" wheh it is so obviously not a lack of education that causes the problems.

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6
Our users say:
Posted by: Unbelivaible | 2010-12-07

CS i don''t believe you could say that, so you rather nothing is done to educate people just because you believe that HIV is elf-inflicted illness.. You are so unbelievable, i hope none of your loved ones has it.

Reply to Unbelivaible
Posted by: SAVE | 2010-12-07

What do you WANT Jules?

Reply to SAVE
Posted by: Peas | 2010-12-07

Hi Jules,

This is a terrible thing that you have to go through. Your brother is blessed to have family around him at this time. I see where you are coming from, writing that he is educated and he was stupid and now you as a family have to suffer. I hope you can work through this, I think you should continue talking/writing about it. Take care.

Reply to Peas
Posted by: Jules | 2010-12-07

Hi Peas he is 33 and when with him i don''t show my anger or disappointment i keep it to myself but i just can''t keep it bottled up anymore. He is educated and the dangers of unprotectd sex is in your face 24/7 did he have to be soooooooo stupid??????? Nw becos of his stupidity we have to suffer in that we have to care for him and our lives have basically been put on hold until when? We don''t know and 4 all that i know God could have a bad sense of humour and let him live for another 10 years or whatever

Reply to Jules
Posted by: Peas | 2010-12-07

Eish, this is bad. How old is your brother? You have every right to be angry, but I think if he is on his death bed, you should put your anger aside and try to be with him until the end. You may regret not doing so. I know of people who were fighting with someone and that someone died and they were never able to make up with them. I am very sorry for you.

Reply to Peas
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-12-07

Some people might no understand, but your reaction is entirely normal and much more reasonable than many people would like to recognize.
Its normal that people find, amongst their sadness, anger at a loved one who develops a fatal illness through absolutely no fault of theirs. But where the illness is the result of many acts of deliberate stupidity ( he could have taken precautions, and then could have taken his meds ) its hard to feel sorry for someone's self-inflicted illness.
Many people who behave as foolishly and self-destructively as he has done, are indeed well-educated, which is one of the many reasons why I regrt the millions of rands and dollars spent on "AIDS education" wheh it is so obviously not a lack of education that causes the problems.

Reply to cybershrink

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